GOAL: "FREEHUGS"

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 05:36:45 GMT

1. When is the last time you actually hung out with your top #1 (myspace)?
Saturday

2. What's bothering you right now?
School, life...

3. How much time do you spend on the phone per day?
NONE =]

4. What is in your wallet?
I... don't own one.

5. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop?
Dir en grey

6. Wallpaper on your cell phone?
Toshiya... although it does not work. Friggen parents.

7. Next time you will hug someone?
Tomorrow?

8. Where was your default picture taken (myspace)?
Tiki's house.

9. Last phone call received and made?
Um... Amy and Dad.

10. What's your hair like?
THIN! =[

11. What's the last thing you ate today?
Noodles

12. Doing this weekend?
Yes, stuff.

13. What are you wearing?
Shorts, shirt.

14. Missing anyone?
Yes.

15. If you could have one person with you right now who would it be?
YOU

16. Ever done something you said you wouldn't do?
Yes.

17. Have you ever kissed anyone named nick or john?
HAHA No.

18. What do you smell like?
Sniff me.

19. Eating?
Saliva

20. Have you hit someone?
Yes.

21. Do you believe in a soul mate?
... :/

22. What do you wear to bed?
Clothes.

23. Are you happy?
Sure.

24. Do you burn easily in the sun?
No =D

25. Have you ever been gambling?
HAHA HELL YEAH!

26. What is your dream car?
A car.

27. What did you do last weekend?
Chill

28. Who do you miss most?
Everyone

29. What are you going to do after this?
Stupid homework.

30. Last IM?
Amy

31. Fav. color?
EVERYTHING; but I'm pretty fond of gold right now =]

32. Fav. hobby?
Should I get a productive hobby?

33. Have you ever had a crush on your sister's/brother's friend?
Eww nope.

34. How good is your eyesight?
Not so good...

35. Who are you currently mad at?
No one.

36. What was the last thing you drank?
Water

37. Where did you go with a friend(s) last?
School.

38. Who was the last person you visited?
Amy

39. Do you like someone right now?
No

40. Do you have a chance with them?
No

41. What do you wear more: shorts, slacks, jeans, or sweatpants?
Jeans

42. What phrase do you use the most?
Shut up.

43. Name Three Drinks You Drank Today?
Water, water, Tiki's vanilla ice thing.

45. What is your dream?
To believe in myself.

46. Ever broken a promise?
Yeah

47. What have you learned recently?
How to find the critical number.

48. Are you excited for school?
Nope.

49. Favorite shoes?
My shoes.

50. What are your feelings for the person who u got this survey from?
Haha, I hang out with Amy toooo much.

Toshiya's Pleasure - Chapter 8

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:33:01 GMT

Title: Toshiya's Pleasure (8/?)
Author: [info]
Chapter Rating: NC-17
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: For your pleasure only
Pairing: DIRUxDIRU
Summary: SHARING FANFIC
Disclaimer: Owns nobody D'=

Die released a throttled groan when Toshiya slowly went further up his entrance. He grabbed a tightening hold onto Toshiya’s arm and pulled him to a stop. Die walked to an unoccupied desk near them and sat down. He raised his feet up on the desk, laid it down gently, and spread his legs seductively. His sudden change of attitude caught Toshiya’s attention and changed his thoughts with rushing the whole process.

Walking over, Toshiya knelt down between Die’s legs, wrapped his arms around his thighs and brought him closer. Toshiya grabbed Die’s hardened member with his thumb, index finger, and middle. He stroked slowly, allowing Die to feel the fingers fondling him. He did a couple of rounds before sliding his thumb over the slit of Die’s cock. He stared at it, admiring the size and the pulsating veins throbbing in his fingers. He seized the chance and covered his moist mouth over the head. He let his tongue wiggle around it, lapping over the tip and gliding back down to the sides of his dick.

Toshiya took Die’s cock out of his mouth and stroked it again, still admiring the twitches he received because of his special movements. Die lowered his legs, dangling down the side of the desk. An arm raised to his stomach, palm laid flat and caressing soothingly. Toshiya made his eye contact with Die and swiftly covered Die’s dick with his warm cavern. He quickly hallowed out his cheeks, sucking most profusely when Die gasped out his name. Toshiya continued to do so, nipping at certain areas he found pleasurable for Die. His hand came from underneath him and made his way to massage with Die’s tightening sac. He had them between his fingers, playfully bringing Die to a climax.

Toshiya didn’t allow that yet, however. Deserting his dick, Toshiya lifted Die’s legs and ran a finger over his entrance. Already prepared from the previous moment, Toshiya licked his fingers, sucking on it so that it was well coated with his saliva and inserted it into Die. After he was satisfied with the coverage, Toshiya stood up, leaning over Die to balance himself. Arms are holding him up, legs slightly spread apart, and Die’s legs in the air waiting. Toshiya held his erection near Die’s entrance, and steadily he placed in the head first. Die hissed, not surprised by the sudden change of size, but from the smoothness of the head. It slid in so easily and gently that he looked down to see Toshiya’s organ inside of him. He was happy with site and looked up at Toshiya to give him a nod.

Toshiya stood up a bit straighter and leaned himself back over Die. He bucked up his hips forward and he, himself, hissed at the pleasure of the tight entrance. He only stopped moving forward when his dick was fully in. Once it was, he began a slow rhythm of movements. His hips went up and down, as if the wind was dancing carelessly. Die closed his eyes to enjoy the length and the tantalizing speed. Toshiya’s hips moved faster and faster each time Die would release a sudden groan.

He stopped himself from any further movement and exited Die’s entrance. Die opened his eyes, trying to figure out why he left. But he saw Toshiya gesture his head to the side. Die got up from his spot and was replaced by Toshiya, who laid down on his back, flat. Die quickly got on top, standing on his knees so he’d controlled the direction of Toshiya’s dick. Once he got it in, straddling Toshiya‘s torso, Die began moving his way around the shaft. He lowered his upper body towards Toshiya and was only a foot away from his face. With hands beside him, Die moved up and down at the same pace as Toshiya was going. He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, moaning at the sensation when Toshiya’s dick hit his prostate. He moved a bit faster, wanting that same spot hit continuously, making him moan even more.

Toshiya could feel himself ready to cum. But before he could allow himself to, he grabbed a hold of Die’s erection and began stroking again. Die wasn’t expecting it, but when noticed a hand was wrapped around his shaft, he continued to move his body up and down, but tightened his buttocks. Toshiya found this pleasurable, liking the tightness of Die. Toshiya pumped harder, tightening his grip and teasing when his hand became limp around Die’s shaft. But when the speed was picked up once more, Die released a long last moan when cum spilled over Toshiya’s body and dirtying his hand.

Die felt himself release, but did not stop himself from making Toshiya cum. Soon after, Toshiya arched his back, released a throaty groan and relieved himself into Die. And when his dick exited him, cum oozed out, dripping back onto Toshiya’s receding dick.

“Where’s Die and Toshiya?” Kaoru asked, as he stood up, giving a hand to both Kyo and Shinya to get up.

“I don’t know. How did the lights come on?” Shinya looked around him, rubbing at the corners of his eyes.

“I don’t know, but this might mean we can go home. Lets go find them.”

Kaoru and Shinya got all that they needed and went over to Kyo who was waiting under the door frame. “Weren’t you with Toshiya? Maybe Die found him.”

“Toshiya…” Shinya thought in silence. “That’s right! He’s… Kyo, when you see Toshiya, uh, don’t be so mean, okay?”

“Why?” Kyo questioned, eyeing him suspiciously.

“We’ve~ haven’t been nice to him.” Shinya said, grinning over to Kaoru.

Kyo blinked a couple of times before turning to a new direction and heading out first.

Kaoru told him where to go, turning a corner and finding a door closed and foggy.

“Toshiya should be in here,” Kaoru whispered for no reason.

“Open the door then,” demanded Kyo, who somehow ended up behind Shinya and Kaoru.

“Maybe we should knock,” he said, continuing to whisper.

“Why the hell do you need to knock? What do you think he’s doing?” Kaoru shrugged. “Just move.”

Kyo shoved Kaoru out of the way and opened the door expecting Toshiya sitting on a chair, possibly chatting with Die. But he wasn’t. Frozen at his spot, Kyo looked on in amazement at the site before him. Two of his band-mates, one of them who had just given him a blow job, is lying atop a desk with the other sitting on his stomach. Both were smiling deviously until they heard the door squeaked.

Still in the nude, Die turned around with giant orbs permeating. The surprised guests were starting to come inside the room.

With Shinya and Kaoru snickering in the back, Kyo led the way to the two and asked for an explanation.

“How?”

Toshiya and Die looked at each. Could they really answer him when cum is still on them and when their still in the nude? They didn’t think so. Die climbed off and grabbed whatever tissue was nearest him. He reached down around him and wiped himself clean, asking Toshiya if he had anymore. Toshiya looked down at his buttock and nodded, “No.” Toshiya wiped himself after and lifted himself up off the desk and began dressing next to Die.

Kyo just stared at the two, bewildered with how they ended up fucking each other. It didn’t bother him, but it was just an odd site to see. Maybe he wanted to join, too; who knows.

Shinya and Kaoru were still snickering when they were done dressing.

It all worked out for the best. Shinya fucked Kaoru, had Toshiya tied up, and watching him fuck Kaoru. And because of that, Toshiya grew into a very, very horny man. And since Die lost his temper, he walked into the perfect room. Kyo… well, he got some, didn’t he? He just wasn’t in the sphere. He’ll get his chance, he will.

“Is this what you’ve all been doing? Coming in this room to fuck?” Everyone looked around at each other, “Couldn’t I be invited?” Kyo pouted, looking down at the floor.

Everyone released an “aww~” and giggled. They walked over to Kyo to give each cheek a kiss.

Misconceiving - Chapter 14

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 14:22:35 GMT

Title: Misconceiving - 14/?
Author: Me
Pairings: Kaoru/Shinya Toshiya/Die Kaoru/Kyo Shinya/Die Kyo/Die
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Rating: NC-17
Chapter Summary: “Fucking someone new at five-thirty already, Die? Damn, don’t you have a soul?”

The next morning was nothing at all different from the previous night. Shinya woke up with an aching headache and thankfully took the washed out bucket to continue his vomiting. I could tell he was embarrassed when he came to the realization that he drank excessively the night before.

I rubbed his back, even with the smell permeating my entire living room. My mom came down, scared from all the gagging made. She most likely thought it was me who was vomiting.

As I continued to rubbed Shinya’s back, Toshiya explained to her what happened. She didn’t quite get it, but offered to make chocolate milk, thinking we’re all still kids here.

As Shinya’s hair swayed side to side, covering his sweaty face, I stared down at him. Mesmerize by the way he looked, even with bits of regurgitated food. It wasn’t weird, however. I was looking at one of my best friends and didn’t think twice about why I was attracted to him physically. I simply thought it was a little crush because I’ve been around him for so long. But why didn’t I look at Toshiya the same way?

A door knock was heard after Shinya subsided into the couch again, covered with a wool blanket. I knew straight away who it was, and I was right.

“Is Shinya okay?” I heard Die after my mom opened up.

“Come in, he’s on the couch.” I cursed my mom silently for letting him in.

I didn’t bother looking up at him while I comforted Shinya into his blanket. The sight of his face would make me want to throw up the bucket of vomit made from Shinya.

Toshiya came into the room with two hot chocolates in his hands.

“Oh Die, what are you doing here so early?” It was around five-thirty in the morning, none of us had much to sleep.

“I just wanted to see how Shinya’s doing. Is he good?”

“No, he’s still puking, but he’s getting better. Want some hot cocoa?” I also cursed Toshiya for offering Die my drink.

“No thanks.”

“Oh, here then, Kaoru.” I absolutely didn’t want Die’s rejected drink, but took it anyway.

Shinya stirred in his area and face upwards to look at Die. He couldn’t muster it, but I knew he wanted to throw an angry glare. And Die caught the hint.

“Sorry,” he said, looking down at his shoelaces.

“Want some hot chocolate, Shinya?” He nodded his head.

I got up from my spot and walked my way towards the kitchen, where my mom was making breakfast.

When I returned, I saw Die sitting where I was to sit and I suddenly grew furious. He was mere itches away from Shinya’s face, and I wanted nothing but to throw the steaming chocolate on him.

I hurried my way over to the two and waited for both to stop. Toshiya was always staring at the two, jealousy appeared to be seeping through his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Shinya.” Die’s sick expression made me want to vomit.

“It’s okay,” Shinya narrowed his eyes.

Die’s hand continued to stroke his hair, placing it behind his ear. I cleared my throat, making an announcement that people was still there. Die jumped a little and got off the couch.

Shinya took the mug I offered and I sat back down on what was rightfully my spot. I couldn’t help but feel possessive and moved closer so I could be touching Shinya.

“So, Die…” Toshiya spoke up, “Why don’t you take me home?”

“Uh, sure.” Die’s eyebrows narrowed together, looking sideways to look at Toshiya.

The whole trip between Die and Toshiya was told at a later time, but telling it now fits in quite well.

They sat quietly in the car. Toshiya felt tensed around Die, and Die felt uncomfortable because of the knowledge he obtains about the two.

They neared Toshiya’s house, which was not so far from where I live.

But as they approached their destination, Toshiya swerved Die’s car so it’d head for the parking lot of the beach.

“What are you doing?” Die asked, scared.

“Lets go to the beach.”

“What? Why?”

“I haven’t been there in a while,” Toshiya said, starting to regret what he did. He must have looked like a fool to do that.

“You didn’t have to try and kill us.” Die said, making Toshiya release a sigh.

They took off necessary clothing to walk comfortably on the sand and waited for the sunrise to greet them.

“So, what’s the real reason you wanted to come here?” Die said, after they have walked about half-a-mile along the shore.

Toshiya looked up surprised, “What?”

“Why’d you wana come here?”

“I-I…”

“-wanted to do what we did last time?” Die said, smirking.

“N-no, of course not! I haven’t been here in a while, you were a free ride.”

“Is that a pun or something?”

“What? No!”

“Sorry Totch, that night was a one time thing.”

Toshiya’s face bowed its way down to his chest. It wasn’t what he wanted… well, it wasn’t all of it, but he was expecting more.

Die smiled as he looked up at Toshiya, but it soon disappeared when he saw Toshiya’s expression.

“Uh… I thought you know what we were doing.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Fuck and leave…”

“Well, if you put it that way, sounds kinda harsh,” Die huffed.

Toshiya remained quiet, hurt and distressed.

“Aw, Toshiya,” Die patted his back, “don’t be like that. Uh, I’m not that good of a person to start with.” Die was never the one to make you feel better.

“Yeah, I understand--”

“Fucking someone new at five-thirty already, Die? Damn, don’t you have a soul?”

Die and Toshiya spun around on their bare feet and saw a dark shadow walk up behind them.

“What do you want?” Die said angrily.

“Nothing, just admiring my beach.”

Die rolled his eyes and grabbed Toshiya’s elbow, “Lets go.”

“Yes, fuck him good, Die; like I did with his friend.”

Toshiya heard “friend“, he knew it had to be Kaoru or Shinya.

“What friend?” Toshiya said, pulling his arm away from Die.

“Oh… you don’t know?” Kyo said evilly, “oh that’s right, no one knows. And I wasn’t suppose to tell… woops.”

“What friend are you talking about?” Toshiya said, having the faintest idea who it could have been.

“You’re best friend, Kaoru, of course; should’ve fucked him instead Die. He’s one fine piece of ass. I think I might go see him tonight.”

“Little dick!” Toshiya shouted, launching himself over to Kyo’s direction. Die aimed to grab him, but missed.

“Little dick?” Kyo said, jumping out of the way, “You wana see it, too?”

“Shut the fuck up, Kyo.” Die said, getting a hold of Toshiya.

“Aw, did I hurt your feelings?”

“Fucking idiot,” was the last thing Die said before walking back to his car along with Toshiya, who was fuming with anger.

“Ignore him, he’s just kidding.”

“Kidding about what? That he’s sleeping with Kaoru, or…”

“Most likely, but who knows. You wana go back to my place?” Die asked to finalize the morning.

NEW FIC: UNTITLED

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 02:31:43 GMT

Title - UNTITLED
Author - An_Infection
Chapter Rating - PG
Overall Rating - NC-17
Warnings - None at this moment
Pairings - KaoruxToshiya; more TBA
Disclaimers - D'= I don't own anyone
Summary - It's apart of life. No one can prevent it from happening. Everyone denies it, but it's there, no one to stop it or to ruin it. Stop denying and just accept it.

The stage is set up with every equipment needed. Amplifiers, chords, microphone, instruments--all were ready to satisfy a demanding audience.

The crowd yelling feverishly grows louder with every minute as if ordering the performers entrance at once. All in unison they sing out their lungs, being needy and wanting more than they ask for.

Lights suddenly switch on blinding the audiences views of the stage. Flickers of red and blue begins playing its role, and then the music begins. The audience goes wild at this point and screams even louder. As high as the music is, the audience always wins.

Each and everyone one of them are on their feet chanting non-stop. Nothing seems to control their anxiety nor did anyone want to.

The rhythm of the music runs through everyone’s spine that evening--anyone who is occupying the premises; and as it continues to do its job, a red-headed man steps on with a hidden excitement on his face.

He looks out into the vast crowd and admires his fans. He walks, prominently, over to his side of the stage and takes a hold of his guitar, wrapping it around himself so he can quench his supporters’ thirst for their music. The red-headed man continues to stare--face expressing little--but there was a glint of a smirk, proud of himself and his companions that have been together for over 10 years. He makes his contact with the crowd and yells out a “Yeah!” making the crowd go louder.

Up next was a more feminine man, skin to the bone, yet so beautiful it radiates the entire auditorium. He walks in with drumsticks in hand, looking over his audience and gazes for a second to take it all in. He climbs up to his instrument, laid out perfectly, just as he wanted them. He positions himself onto his seat, takes a deep breath and exhales looking down at his drum set, knowing clearly how he is going to play that night; with passion.

Not so long after did the skinny man enter, did a goat-teed man come in. He is shorter than the two men who came before him, but he looks much older. Not an ugly old man however, but someone who was handsome, someone who has gained knowledge over the past 10 years of his life.

He’s another guitarist, grabbing his instrument and intertwining his body to become one with it. The goat-tee wearing man raises his two fists into the air, crunching up his face to make a “Hell yeah” message that is shot out into the never-ending audience.

They scream for more.

Already fixing his bass onto his shoulders, the tallest of the group walks up to the edge of the stage to take a deep breath and inhales the atmosphere the adoring fans give. He wanted to muster up a smile, but he couldn’t; the image is too important. He raises his right hand, while holding a pick, and encourages everyone to yell out even more. The tall man let it fill his lungs and closes his eyes to make sure this isn’t all a dream. He steps back to his place on the stage and waits for the last man to make his entrance.

But before anyone else could enter, the eldest of the group stares at his band mates; his teammates, his friends. He couldn’t help it but smile at how successful they all were. It hasn’t hit them fully yet; but it was there, hanging in the air. He wanted to scream to release all his happiness, but the guise was to be tough and emotionless.

The last man of the group steps his foot onto stage. The crowd continues its scream, becoming slightly louder when realizing that all members of Dir en grey is right there on the stage ready to shred them into pieces.

The shortest of the bit came with his head bowed and hands at his sides. He wears a button down denim sweater for his convenience. His blonde hair sways as he made his way to the microphone stand, gripping his fingers around it, receiving energy. He didn’t look at the crowd yet, but he could feel their eyes waiting. He feels the connection and wants to begin, begin his scream for help.

The music starts, flowing into the set rhythm.

The never dull routine of the night begins.

----
As the last breath was taken into the microphone, the crowd shrills with excitement and approval. It ends like it always does, but with new followers each time and new opportunities for everyone.

Each man left the stage, but never failing in leaving without a gesture of ‘thanks’ or ‘goodbye.’

In a fairly straight line, each of the band-mates heads for their bus, towels wrapping around their necks, swiping off the sweat that produced from all the head-banging motions.

They grunt as they sit down into their seats, melting into the cushions for some relief. All heads are resting on the fixated couch; eyes close and ready to sleep until the next night.

The red-head reaches out into his pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. He slides one out and lights it, taking a long drag before tossing it over to the leader, who also allows himself to smoke a cancer stink.

A knock at the door follows the skillful smoking habits. All heads turns to the entrance, expecting this, somewhat, welcomed guests. Kyo, who is sitting nearest the door, opens up to find five beautiful women smiling up at him, seeking for the others.

“Are they in there?” Kyo nodded.

The girls giggles as they walk pass Kyo, but with one remaining, who is obviously chosen to be his groupie.

He takes her hand and leads her to their destination.

The rest of the groupie girls takes their spots on the couch near their men.

This is a nightly routine, a few nights for the guys to release their built up stress. It doesn’t, however, make them happy. One night of getting fucked pointlessly might make anyone happy, but as the years grew, the boys grew.

They weren’t just frustrated sexually, but emotionally and mentally. They were missing that one thing they always thought they would end up with. Now that they have ignored it for 10 years, they want it back.

Kaoru sits there, taking a puff from his cigarette while his girl rubs his thighs, getting dangerously closer to his region. She smiles as he blows a cloud of smoke into the crowded bus and begins to kiss his chin line. He senses it was the time to leave, so he grabs the girl’s waist and heads for the exit, casually.

Die is already atop of his play-date; taking control of the matter and appeasing his manly requests. The girl is as anxious as Die is and is ready to have sex with him, even with his two band-mates currently in the bus, with their dates.

But they were in need for more space, so he steps outside with her clinging onto his stretching shirt.

You would think that Shinya isn’t one who would sleep with any girl, right? Well, ever man has its needs. And Shinya’s needs were calling for help the most. So many times has he neglected it, to keep his dignity and conscience free from sin, but with the help from Die’s convincing, he’s sleeping with random girls every week, just as the rest of them.

So it left one couple in the bus; all for them and no one else for the night.

However, as the rest of his mates were on their way to their appointed hotel rooms, Toshiya has a sudden urge to stand up and race after them. He wants to yell at them for allowing this to happen to him. He didn’t want any random girls to please him; he wanted some special girl to love him. But he didn’t have the courage to. His groupie was staring him right in the face, waiting for his pants to be handed to her.

He bows his head in defeat permitting his shirt to be remove. What Toshiya didn’t know, however, was that the other band-mates are cursing him too, along with the others.

The next morning was like any other. Each member wakes up, looks around and finds that the girl they were sleeping with is gone and never-to-be seen again. But as always, they shrug it off and went out to enjoy the company of their tour buddies. And every night, they would drink until they would puke. Kyo on the other hand, drinks less than everyone else and tries to be as sociable as he can.

And as the next day approaches, they wake up, hangover and all, while they have to hold it all in despite the fact that they have to practice for that nights show.

_________________________________________________________
NOTE - nymphetamosa is right; once you get an idea, you can't help but write it down =[
Anyway, this fic takes on a more dramatic effect? Haha, I have to say though, Tattered Journal is better than this... in my opinion.
Also, I completely forgotten that Die has blond hair now...
(Summary subjected to change)

Toshiya's Pleasure - Chapter 7

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 07:19:10 GMT

Title: Toshiya's Pleasure (7/?)
Author: Me
Genre: PORN
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: It's nothing much gooood smex.
Pairing: DIRUxDIRU
Summary: SHARING FANFIC
Disclaimer: Owns nobody D'=

“What happened in there?” Die asked.

“Nothing!” Shinya snapped back, not letting go of Kaoru’s hand; leading him to a separate corner.

Shinya, leading Kaoru? Anyone who knew the two well would think they were hallucinating.

They both crouched down in their secluded area; a blanket warming them.

“I’m sorry Kaoru.” Shinya said, looking down at his knees.

“For what?” Kaoru’s voice boomed into a manly phrase.

“What do you mean, “For what? “ I acted like an animal back there!” Shinya exclaimed; eyes widened from the shocking response.

Kaoru snorted. He grabbed Shinya’s head gently and placed it onto his shoulder.

“I had the best time of my life.”

Roles were now switched and back to normal. Shinya’s fingers intertwined with Kaoru’s, as he positioned himself more comfortably onto Kaoru’s shoulder.

“It feels kind of weird doing this with a guy.” Kaoru said after realizing how imitate they were, despite the time they just had together in the other room.

“Feels good though, doesn’t it?” Shinya smiled, winking so that Kaoru caught a glimpse of his clever remark.

“What the hell are you guys doing back there?” Die called out from Kyo’s side. “Are you two planning to kick me out of the band again?”

“Yes we are.” Shinya said bluntly. He wanted to enjoy the peace between himself and Kaoru. He didn’t know what these feelings would lead to, but it was nice at the moment and for the first time, he wanted the doors to remain shut.

“Kyo~” Die whined, “Aren’t I good?”

“Yes, Die, very good.” Kyo said dully, looking over at the room’s entrance. “Where’s Toshiya?”

“No one cares about me.” Die pouted.

“Of course someone cares about you.” Kyo said, clearly unaware of how insensitive he was being.

Die frowned. “’Someone.’ You guys don’t care about me? Fine!” Die stood up, “Bastards.”

And off another member went, out of the equipment room and into the room where a lost man sat, pleasuring himself feverishly.

“Die! Come back. I’m lonely~” Kyo said it in time before he lost sight of Die’s bouncy red hair.

“Toshiya? Are you in here?” Die’s head peaked into a room where he saw candles flickering; almost out.

He walked in, smelling a distinct smell, but unsure what it was. He closed the door behind him and continued to examine the air. But something broke his concentration. Moaning was heard, and Die was afraid it could have been a wounded animal.

However, he didn’t want it to be Toshiya. If it was, well then, he’d probably find something unpleasant - or was it unpleasant?

“Toshiya?” Die called out. “Where are you?”

“D-Die,” Toshiya panted out. “C-come here.”

As erotic it was to find Toshiya sinning, Die was a bit scared to hear someone calling him over so desperately.

“What’s wrong Toshiya?”

A silhouette rose from behind a table and walked to Die. Surprisingly however, it was dressed.

“Where are Kaoru and Shinya?”

“In the other room,” Die answered quizzically.

“Oh, OKAY.” Die suspected something was up. Toshiya seemed like he was traumatized, and he’d never recover. “Is something wrong?”

“Oh, no; nothing’s wrong. I‘m… just cold.”

“Really? You’re shaking--you’ll catch a cold, we should head back.”

The candle went out, leaving the room pitch black. The wind whistling outside was heard and with no one around to see them, Toshiya leaped up and tackled Die down to the ground.

“Take me!” Toshiya yelled as he roughly kissed Die’s Adam’s apple.

Fighting to get away from his abuse, Die struggled getting up and pushed Toshiya off. “W-what are you doing?”

“I-I don’t know.” Toshiya said, shocked at himself. He never felt so weak and desperate. Sure he’s given himself up without any doubts, but where has his dignity gone?

They were both quiet for a minute. It was weird, and yet not so weird. Toshiya had already gone through a terrible experience that night, so why not go for it and do another one of his band mates? But on the other hand, Die was looking over at Toshiya and was wondering whether this was a trick or not. He’d be left out so often that night that he thought he’d deserve some love, even if it was a trick.

And with contact by eyes, they mutually agreed this would be a one time thing. Both grabbed onto each other and fought for more than lips. Their tongues slipped passed each other and made Toshiya even needier.

How did I end up by myself? Kyo thought. He sat there, listening to his own breathing and wondering what Kaoru and Shinya were doing, even though they were only feet away, but hiding.

Die and Toshiya? No, they would never do anything together.

Kyo wrapped himself around with the wool blanket and tried to cozy himself up, but couldn’t. He needed someone there to make him feel comfortable, but everyone had their own doings and Kyo was left to mope.

“Kaoru?” Kyo asked timidly.

“What?” Kaoru answered a bit annoyed, but sensing that Kyo was thoughtful enough to not wanting to intrude.

“I’m kind of lonely.”

Kaoru looked down at Shinya, he nodded his approval understanding it must be hard for Kyo to admit such things.

“Come here.”

Kyo smiled, gripping onto his blanket and crawled over to the bundled up couple. Being the smallest meant Kyo found it convenient to place himself in the middle to get warmth from the bigger band mates. Kaoru and Shinya was not at all pleased but allowed it anyways. They were both tired physically and mentally to do anything about it.

The mess Toshiya and Die made was capable of being called an aftermath of a tornado. They clawed at each other and fought to be the one on top; it seemed as if nothing could stop the two.

Clothes were already thrown off so that was out of the way. The only thing left is who is going to be the prevailing monster.

“Die,” Toshiya pouted, “let me… let me fuck you!” He had his hand gripping the back of Die’s neck.

“No,” Die said, head raised so that Toshiya was suckling his neck. “I want me inside!”

“Die you don’t understand. I want to fuck you, pound my dick into your anus just to make you fucking scream.”

Die allowed Toshiya to move downwards, eyes wide open because of the statement Toshiya had just spoken. It didn’t sound so bad after all when putting it that way.

With pants out of the way, Toshiya nuzzled his nose into Die’s cool pubic hair. It stood up from the sensation Toshiya sent, and let him do what he could do to satisfy Die.

He continued nuzzling down Die’s length, bringing it into a stiffer position before interloping with Die’s head.

“Toshiya, I can’t see what you’re doing.” The touch wasn’t enough, even with the sensation that was sent through his length, Die wanted to see it. He wanted to see his cock being eaten without a second thought.

Toshiya didn’t answer. He just wanted to hurry up with Die so he’d get his end of the deal. He tried his best to pleasure Die, nipping at certain areas which made Die groan out his request.

“Toshiya, I want to see you,” he grunted, “fuck me.”

The grip on Die’s shaft tightened even more within its cavern, and with an angry tug, Toshiya not only deep-throated Die, but began preparing Die to quench his ache.

Everyone in the other room had fallen asleep. Hunched over Kyo, providing the little man with more warmth than needed, all were peacefully leaning against one another and enjoying the comfort given. Not a sound was heard except the wind outside. The candle lights were suddenly burned out and a loud thud was heard across the studio. Everyone occupying the building heard it jerked at the sound.

Lights flickered on in each room making everything illuminate brightly, hurting the five band member’s eyes all at once. The three snuggled up against one another, blinking rapidly to adjust to the surprise lighting.

Nothing seemed stopped Die and Toshiya, however. Two fingers were inserted directly into an entrance and it was scissoring the enfeeble Die dangerously.

_____________________________________________________________
NOTES: So, the last time I updated this fic was around summer? I'm sorry who ever was reading this ^_^ This chapter isn't so great but hopefully I remember what the purpose of this fic was. It was just basically to write everything that has to do everything with sexual content =D But anyway, enjoy the love

For havenofthewolf:
Ahh! I completely forgot my beta for this story, havenofthewolf. I don't think I ever said thank you. Well, THANK YOU =D I'm sorry I didn't warn you that I'd discontinue this story or go on hiatus. But you really did make my writing better, I think. I wasn't exactly thinking when writing this chapter, but Thanks, if you still would like to beta, please tell me =D

Meee

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 18:18:27 GMT

Hi, my name is: Sanny,

but you can call me: Sanny

Never in my life have I had a: fairytale moment

The one person who can drive me nuts is: myself

My high school is: ghetto

When I’m nervous: I shake

The last song I listened to was: Because of you - Ne-yo

If I were to get married right now it would be to: no one!

My hair is: wavy

When I was 4: I moved to a new home

Last Christmas: did not have a Christmas atmosphere

I should be: finishing up a chapter

When I look down I see: my keyboard

The happiest recent event was: I DON'T KNOW D'=

If I were a character on ‘Friends’ : I'd be miserable right now

By this time next year: I'll be driving; or at least know how to drive

My current gripe is: "Why is there always home work?!"

I have a hard time understanding: life

There’s these girls: and they mean everything to me

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: Amya

I want to buy: clothes

Where do you plan to visit: Cambodia =]

If you spent the night at my house: I'd make you sleep early

The world could do without: --everything has a purpose; even the bad =[

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: um, my mom bought food for me...

Most recent thing someone else bought me: Starbucks

My middle name is: don't have one

In the morning I: open my eyes

Last night I was: tired

There’s this guy I know who: --no guys

If I was an animal I’d be a(n): turtle

A better name for me would be: --my name is great!

Tomorrow I am: going to do homework

Tonight I am: reading

My birthday is: a while ago

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 01:58:27 GMT

1. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
If only I want someone to break up with me the next month and have another boyfriend added to the list. no thanks. I'll wait.

2. What color are your eyes?
Brown

3. What's the last thing someone said to you?
"How dare you talk to me like that." Somewhere along the same lines

4. What does your last text say?
You still in Long Beach?

5. What is the total call time on your phone?
30 minutes to an hour?

6. What messaging system do you use?
Aim/Msn

7. Do you smoke cigarettes?
NEVER

8. When is the last time you cursed?
Yesterday

9.Do you have a dog?
Nope

10. What is the last item you gave away?
I don't know =/

11. Do you own a stereo that cost more than $100?
Heck No!

12. What is one thing you question?
Why ...?

13. Where do you see yourself in 4 years?
College

15. Have you ever hiked up a mountain?
No

16. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid?
=D

17. Are you married?
nope

18. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
Yesterday; haha, that's kinda sad ...

19. Are you the oldest of your siblings?
I'm the baby =]

20. Who are you talking to right now?
Yvonne ^_^

21. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it?
Nope, not yet.

22 . Do you have a crush on anyone?
Pssh, I wish

23. Would you like to live in New York City?
Yes, either in So. Cal. or NYC

24. Is there anyone that doesn't like you because of something you didn't even do?
I'm pretty sure there's one out there for someone

25. Do you miss someone?
Yes

26. Do you think they miss you too?
If they remember who I am

27.What would you do if you saw George Bush walking down the street?
Throw an ostrich egg at him.

28. What would you do if you found out you had an identical twin?
Laugh and then become scared

29. If your crush asked you out right now, what would you do?
My invisible friend?
Haha, I'm kidding =D

30. When is the last time you laughed?
Yesterday

31. Have you ever been in a museum?
Yes

32. What does your mom call you?
AhBee, derived from Baby, which everyone called me apparently.

33. Are you racist?
I like to say I'm not. But I'm a step closer to having it become the truth =]

35. Has anyone told you that they like you more than a friend?
I think ...

36. How old are you?
16

37. Do you plan to go to college?
OF COURSE! I just hope I can survive =[

38. What are you doing tomorrow?
HOMEWORK HOMEWORK HOMEWORK

39. What did you do yesterday?
Sweating over my calculus homework at starbucks

Misconceiving - Chapter 13

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 07:22:29 GMT

Title: Misconceiving - 13/?
Author: Me
Pairings: Kaoru/Shinya Toshiya/Die Kaoru/Kyo Shinya/Die Kyo/Die
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Rating: NC-17
Chapter Summary: “Totchi,” I interrupted without meaning to. “Where do you think Die and Shinya is right now?”

My eyes were glued on those two throughout the visits given from my mom and Toshiya. And to keep any further watch, I convinced my mom that I felt fine and would go to the hospital tomorrow. She tried to bargain with me, but I just kept denying the pain racing through my arm and had her agree with me staying put in Shinya’s house until the next morning.

“Make sure he’s warm and has some chicken soup. And thank you Mr. and Mrs. Terachi for letting him stay.”

So basically, through the rest of the evening, I watched Die chase a giggling Shinya around. It was a little too obvious Shinya tried to cover up his laughter. But Die didn’t let him hide it for less than a second, and so you’d hear strained laughter as Die poked around Shinya’s stomach.

And as they both ran back and forth, my eyes followed, swiveling restlessly inside my head. All my attention was on them and I’d thank them if I wasn’t so jealous. The pain in my arm I’d feel the next day, which increased excessively than it did that night, would be unbearable.

Ignoring the pain to a great extent, I sat up and caught a sight of Shinya falling quickly to the ground. My buttocks were in the air ready to go help, but Die beat me to it. He took advantage of the situation and made his way on top of Shinya and held him in place.

“Wana know where I’m ticklish?”

“No,” Shinya said bluntly and turned a new direction towards disgust.

But sadly, the night continued on with more strained laughter and a pervert causing it.

It wasn’t just Die, but Shinya acted as though Toshiya and I weren’t in the room. And I was curious to know what Shinya was thinking acting in such a way with Die. So, I thought to myself perhaps Toshiya knew something I didn’t.

“Toshiya,” I began, but Toshiya cut in before I could finish.

“Shinya’s acting very strange,” He said all too brightly, “I think he has a crush.” He offered a very wry smile.

I responded indifferently. “I’m pretty sure Shinya likes …”

He snorted, “Look at him. Die’s riding him, and he’s just letting him do it. You and I both know Shinya’s stronger then that.” He pointed towards them using his chin.

I silently sunk myself into the soft cushions of the couch and stared down into my lap. I allowed myself to shut my eyes and remain quiet until Toshiya spoke up again.

“Die sure is attractive though, isn’t he?”

“What?” I said, lifting back up off the couch.

“Die’s very handsome.”

I narrowed my eyebrows, “What?”

“Honestly,” Toshiya faced me, “He’s a very handsome guy.”

“Are you on something?”

“I don’t know.” He waited for something I didn’t know what for, but he went on. “Can I tell you something?”

“’Course.” I said reluctantly.

“Don’t think I’m weird, but, I’m starting to find Die attractive.” I noticed Toshiya even more, and gleefully paid him more attention. “Attractive; as in sexually attractive.”

“Y-you’re not embarrassed or scared to admit it?” I was rather surprised with how easy and relaxed Toshiya was acting.

“No. Why should I be? Are you ashamed of me?” He snorted again, “I’ve had this feeling for a while now, but feels good to tell someone after deciding not to tell anyone.” He leaned into the couch, arms behind his head, “Can I tell you another thing?”

“Is it more surprising than this?”

“Possibly, since it’s about me liking Die.”

“Oh,” was all I could muster. If I said any more, I’d fail at suppressing my excitement from hearing what I just heard. Unfortunately, I was also unable to tell him, right then and there, that I was like him. Not necessarily attracted to Die, but I was attracted to men. I just smiled greedily at him and listened to Die steal a kiss, followed by a kick to the shins.

“Idiot,” Shinya said once he plopped himself down on his seat next to us.

****

“You should have come to the hospital right after your injuries! Your arm is broken!” The doctor said - exasperated - after the examinations. I just nodded my head and left with a new cast on my left arm.

“Hey Shinya,” I spoke while walking home with Toshiya, Shinya, and, you guessed it, Die. “Why is Die with you?” I took my chance to bring up the question while Toshiya grabbed Die’s attention.

“He picked me and Totchi up this morning right after you left with your mom.”

“Oh.”

“I know he can get annoying sometimes, but I made him bleed. And after you got beaten up, I couldn’t pay him back; now I have to pay him back, double. Which brings me to ask you, can I go out with Die tonight, just to get it over with?”

I didn’t want to say yes, but I couldn’t say no with a good reason to back it up, so I simply pretended to trip and fell forward, but lightly landing.

We hurried home and I began situating myself in my bed. Relaxation began to take over, and warm surroundings became more vivid until Die announced he’d be keeping Shinya out late for the night.

Toshiya stayed beside me, but he wasn’t close to keeping his mouth shut. He continued on to speak about Die and how he’s such a gentlemen; which I tried so hard to believe. But I was half daydreaming and wanted to know what could be happening with Die and Shinya.

“Totchi,” I interrupted without meaning to. “Where do you think Die and Shinya is right now?”

“Hmm?”

“Never mind.” I decided against the knowledge to know what Die had in plan, but Toshiya didn’t catch the hint.

“Die and Shin? They said the beach. Hey, you think I should tell Shinya?”

“What about?” I asked, already aware of the answer in the back of my mind.

“That I like Die.”

“Oh yeah sure. Maybe he can even help you.”

“You think? It looks like Die really likes Shinya though.” Toshiya said with a saddened face, but with a glisten of hope.

“Try him.” I said enthusiastically.

“I’m surprised you’re taking this so easily.”

“Well, just be careful; they might get you too.”

“Who’ll get me?”

I hadn’t realized what I just said and it took me a moment to register it. “N-no one.”

“Are you talking about the guys who ganged up on you?” Toshiya asked suspiciously, but being the good friend he was, he also showed a bit of concern.

“No, forget what I said. Wake me up when Shinya comes back. I’m going to sleep.” We arranged a sleepover that night, and we were to have some quality time together, like when we celebrated our new friendship over at Toshiya’s house during our very first sleepover. But Shinya had left, so now we were stuck waiting anxiously until 1:30 in the morning.

I knew Toshiya wanted to ask further questions, but looking upon my bandages and bruises, he ceased himself and continued to mumble loud enough so that he was the only one understanding it. I thought I heard him say, “So would you like to stay?”, but I did my best to ignore it and stayed in bed half-conscious.

The bed squeaked as Toshiya jumped off and headed for the front door downstairs. I was ready to drift away into my dreams fully, but Shinya had finally arrived and still with Die clinging to him.

I walked groggily and slowly towards the commotion made downstairs. Toshiya had his hands intertwined with each other and raised to his chest like someone awaiting her boyfriends’ arrival. He had on a sweet smile stretched from ear to ear, but all too quickly, before I could even conceive it fully, it left his face in a matter of a flash.

Heavy footsteps were walking through the front door and belching was heard throughout the entire house, bouncing off each wall and coming right back at us. Toshiya rushed over to him and took a hold of Shinya’s arm, placing it over his shoulders. Die was along side him keeping him balanced so he wouldn’t tip over any shoes lying around. Both Toshiya and Die placed the drunken Shinya onto the sofa and relieved a big sigh after gently laying him there.

I stepped into the picture and peered down into Shinya’s happy, but wasted face.

“Hi,” he hiccupped, “K-Kaoru. Toshiya! You use to be so big! What happened?”

Anger overwhelmed me at that moment. He had never drunk alcohol before and the only culprit I could blame here was Die. He must be the one trying to take advantage of a ditsy and dizzy Shinya.

I twisted my body at a furious speed and was close to punching his face, but I raised the wrong arm and a pain ran through, stopping me in mid-air. Die knew what was coming and stumbled out words trying to explain the night’s event.

“Shinya found the bottle himself! I didn’t force him to do anything. Smell my breathe - no alcohol!”

I couldn’t speak a single word. Anything that would have escaped, it’d be nothing but violent and frustrated sentences.

Shinya, who was underneath me, tried to crawl off while speaking inarticulate sentences. So I calmed down in order to push him back onto the couch and held him so he wouldn’t decide to jump up.

“Stay still Shinya!”

“But I’m hungry. Lemme get some food!”

“Go get some water,” I directed to no one in particular.

A couple of minutes later, Die’s hand reached towards me with a glass full of water. I snatched from him angrily and handed it over to Shinya. He immediately took it and gulped it down. The last few drops were spat back out when he finally realized it wasn’t booze.

“Die! Why the hell would you give me water?!” Shinya said with a high pitched voice, surprisingly.

“Kaoru told me to.” Die sounded too playful for my taste.

“Toshiya! Take Die outta here.”

“What? But I want to see if he’s okay.”

“You’ve done enough. Get the hell out.” My hand gripped onto Shinya’s arm compulsorily yearning a yelp from him.

“C’mon Die, you don’t want to see Kaoru angry.” Toshiya pulled Die aside and out the front porch.

“Shinya, how much did you drink?”

“N-not a lot. M-maybe a bottle here or … three and a half.” He smiled at me with every teeth shown all at once and eyes disappearing into his eyelids. I couldn’t help but find it a bit adorable, but nonetheless worried for his condition.

“Go to sleep, you’re wasted.”

“WAIT!” He said before I stood up to retrieve a wool blanket from the closest.

“What?!”

“Kaoru…”

His eyes changed emotionally, and it glared at me with great intensity, “I need…”

“W-what do you need?”

“I need … you …”

“You need me…”

“… to bring me a bucket.”

Coming back

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 17:46:37 GMT

I haven't written in ages =[
But I'm coming home on Saturday, so I hope to update soon! I hope no one's forgotten my stories. Haha, anyway, I will leave and chase my nieces and nephew around again. They're brats.

Misconceiving - Chapter 12

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 07:36:46 GMT

Title: Misconceiving - 11/?
Author: Me
Pairings: Kaoru/Shinya Toshiya/Die Kaoru/Kyo Shinya/Die Kyo/Die
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Rating: NC-17
Chapter Summary:A relief washed over me when I heard his name and I couldn’t help but smile. Even with the pain resulting in the movement of my facial muscles, I was glad Shinya was there.

I woke up that morning, clinging to my thin blanket, in hopes to find a far more secure place than this. But it was useless. From the moment I fell asleep, to the moment I laid awake, fresh salty liquid came gushing down. The fear was permanently carved into my brain, and I didn’t have any way of destroying it. The sneers and jeers were encircling my mind, the comments students, I know will leave, already burned into my skull, the teachers cackles in the back of the room, they all swirled freely inside and I could feel my stomach retaliating.

I vomited what little I ate last night and dragged my feet over to my bed side. Nothing will protect me now, I thought as I sat there. I was quivering dangerously, but unfortunately, I had no excuse to miss school.

You might be wondering why students and teachers would be so against my sexuality, when not so long ago, two boys were freely enjoying each other’s company.

Everyone’s grown to love them; they’ve all grown to appreciate how this is the definition of love, for any orientation. I was just a new kid out in the open. I was something vulnerable and had nothing to prove to anyone that I was someone worthy of respect. I was gay, with no intentions of winning anyone over. But, evidently, that’s not what they wanted.

Getting dressed and eating took longer than it usually did. My mom noticed my dispirited-self the moment I stepped out of the house, when a little sniffle accidentally found its way out.

I dreaded every step taken towards school. Even with the short distance between my house, I felt I was walking a thousand miles. I didn’t mind at all, though. I could have walked longer if I didn’t have to face so many judgmental students and teachers. But before entering the close range between me and school, I held my breath, closed my eyes, and was ready to exhale when I realized I had to meet up with Sayori at the beach. I choke at the thought of her and headed directly her way.

The beach was foggy that day and I was unable to see what was ahead of me. I tried calling out Sayori’s name, but no answer was heard. Five minutes and the tardy bell would ring, but I waited, just to see if she’d arrive. I would’ve been more than happy to stay there forever, however. But my luck changed when I heard a little muffled cry around the rock ledges where Shinya, Toshiya, and I use to play.

I peaked around a big boulder and caught a glimpse of Sayori, hair askew, knees up high, and face buried in the crevice of her bent arm.

I quickly laid my back onto the huge rock and closed my eyes. I had to ask her why; it was my way to being able to go through everyday life from that day on.

So I did what I had to do, and took a deep breath, making my presence known, but subtly.

I whispered out to her, “Sayori.”

She quickly looks up, eyes swollen, cheeks soaked wet. She stuttered, trying to keep the remaining tears in, “I-I thought you weren’t gona c-come.”

“I almost forgot. How are you?”

“Well, Kaoru, I haven’t been crying, if you must ask.”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t enough Kaoru. Do you know how hard it is right now?”

I stayed silent. I tried reaching a hand towards her, but she just turned her body from me, looking anywhere but me.

“It still aches to know that you lied to me.”

“Sayori, I couldn’t tell you. I just had to … look, I didn’t even tell Shinya and Toshiya about this.”

“How is that suppose to resolve anything?”

“I’m saying if I can’t tell Shinya and Toshiya, then how would you expect me to tell you?”

“Gee, Kaoru. I don’t know - maybe because I was your girlfriend?” She swiveled her head so her eyes were burning right through me.

“S-Sayori, you know I don’t trust anyone as much as I trust those two.”

“But I was your girlfriend. What’s the definition of girlfriend don’t you understand?”

“It’s more …”

“That’s right, your definition is to take advantage of a girlfriend, do her, tell her you lied, and leave her on a fucking rock, crying.”

I felt a rush of guilt run through me like a bolt of lightning. I knew what I did to her was wrong, and now, I knew that forgiveness wasn’t going to play a part in this ex-relationship.

I wanted to touch her hand, just to show that I was still human, that I had feelings, and I was truly sorry for all the tears I brought her, but has I furthered my foot on the slippery rock, my foot slid. Down below were just water and more solid rocks, but next to the current boulder I had my foot on, was another one, lying there unnoticed. My foot was wedged in between painfully and I was stuck.

Holding onto a dry rock, I clenched my teeth at the pain. I called Sayori’s name softly and she looked up at me with a smirk. She stood from where she was sitting and walked over to me, standing where I was able to see her face to face.

“C-can you help me,” I hissed out.

“Humph,” was all she said when she veered herself around me and went on to class.

I couldn’t wrap my mind around her attitude. The months I was with her, she was someone nice and helpful. And while half-standing, half-kneeling, I felt my heart sank, feeling as if I was the one being betrayed. Everything she did - her innocent act, her loving girlfriend act - it was all a lie, just as I lied to her. But wiggling myself out of the crevice and walking back home, with a limp, I realized she wasn’t what she was. Whatever she acted like, when we were together, was a lie; whatever she does can’t hurt me now, she deceived me as I deceived her.

If only that feeling stayed with me on the walk home. I decided to skip school for the day, but unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one rebelling. A particular group in school, known mainly for the random beat up of new freshmens, approached me slyly. Three of them were now surrounding me with, what I predicted earlier that morning, sneers, permanently attached to their faces. I was scared of course, and as I searched for an opening to escape, the knitted circle closed in on me.

Everyone says that the first hit is always the most painful, but they were wrong. I felt more pain than ever, when one of the bigger boys ran his booted foot into my stomach. And over and over again, I felt a fist knocking itself against the side of my cheek. The pain was getting unbearable and the taste of blood was making me choke. My eyes even had blood smeared all across, and when I heard loud foot steps on the sidewalk, the gang quickly departed, but not forgetting their last words. “Fucking fag!”

I had already passed out when I felt very long fingers enclose itself around my head and a whisper cried out to me.

----
It was dark outside when I opened my eyes, but only through slits that I was able to muster open.

I groaned when opening my mouth to call out for my rescuer. The sudden pain reminded me of what happened earlier, and when lifting my arm to touch my face, I cried in pain that shot through my forearm. A sudden voice was heard and a clatter of bowl against spoon.

“Kaoru! Are you okay?”

“Who are you?” I asked just to confirm who I thought it was.

“It’s me, Shinya.”

A relief washed over me when I heard his name and I couldn’t help but smile. Even with the pain resulting in the movement of my facial muscles, I was glad Shinya was there.

I moved my right arm, which was painless, to search for a hand. I needed some comfort after the ordeal. I couldn’t even get my mind to comprehend what had happened. I just had a faint idea, but it was like a dream, like it never actually occurred that I was the one doing this to myself. But I wasn’t trying to comprehend anything; I just wanted to hold someone - anyone, at that precise moment.

I don’t know if I found his hand, or he offered it himself, but Shinya accepted my motion as a comfort call and held my hand tightly as I held his.

Who knew how long we stayed there, quietly bonding, but however consoling it was, I suddenly heard a very familiar voice. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it though, but it was speaking loud and clear.

“Shinya, how’s he feeling?” The voice asked. I knew it wasn’t Toshiya’s, his was a bit sweeter, but this one was much manlier in a way. It wasn’t Kyo’s, that’s for sure. So who would Shinya be skipping school with?

“He’s okay, Die. I think he’s just resting some more.” I felt a slight movement coming from Shinya, “Kaoru, are still awake?”

“Nng.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Hurts …”

“Do you want anything to eat - something to drink?”

“N-no,” I tried getting up, but it pained me too much, “… just something to drink.”

The feeling of protection was wiped clean when Shinya said ‘Die’. I felt I needed this time to be with Shinya, but when Die stepped into the picture, he just ruined everything. I lost that protected feeling, and stayed focus on my pain; which was not helping at all.

I lifted my head to get a good look at the two, and I had a strange feeling overwhelm with the image I saw. I furrowed my eyebrows further when Die’s hand would not take his hands off of Shinya. However with the fighting of Die’s arm, Shinya was unable to beat his stubborn hands and allowed Die to keep his arm where it was. But that didn’t stop Shinya from holding onto my hand.

“What happened out there, Kaoru?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did they beat you up?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“They only beat up the new students though. They have to have had a reason.”

“Maybe they thought Kaoru was a freshman.” Die suggested.

“I’m sure they’ve seen him around.” Shinya faced Die, “Can you go get Kaoru a glass of water?”

“Sure.” Die took his arm off of Shinya and flounced his way into the kitchen to retrieve water for me.

I waited until Die was out of the room until I can ask Shinya why he was with Die.

“He … he made me feel, uh, guilty for knocking him over the stairs. Now, I’m paying back by going out with him.”

“Out as in what?”

“He thinks out as in a date, but you, me and Toshiya know pretty well that I’m not into that,” Shinya grinned, but after asking me, “So Kao, why did they beat you up?” He grinned turned into a frown.

“I already told you that I don’t know. Maybe they did think I was a freshman.”

“Here’s your glass of water,” Die interrupted, thankfully. “They said something before they left … “Fucking …” something.” I take that ‘thankfully’ back.

“They said nothing,” I said abruptly. “Anyway, where am I?”

“My house,” Shinya replied. He knew something was up, but I ignored it and went on with getting a sip from my drink.

Keeping my eyes on both Die and Shinya, I noticed Die, again, pulled Shinya in closer and held him tightly around the waist. I saw a bit of reddening in Shinya’s face, but I knew he was trying to hide it with an annoyed expression.

NOTE: I'm off to Michigan in a few hours. I won't be able to update for a long while; seeing as when I come back, school starts for me =[ And I'm pretty sure my work load for school will be huge D=
I hope you guys enjoyed ^_^

NEW FIC: TatteredJournal (?) - Chapter 1

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 23:23:50 GMT

Title - TatteredJournal (?)
Author - An_Infection
Chapter Rating - PG
Overall Rating - NC-17
Warnings - Sexual/Child Abuse
Pairings - KyoxToshiya; more TBA
Disclaimers - D'= I don't own anyone
Summary - "How can I live with all this, knowing I was the cause of everyone around me being hurt? How can this stop when I'm so stubborn and can't even throw away a stupid old journal? What help did it give me? A hurt friend? A ruined mind? The only person that would be any help would be the ones who started it all. And yet, they can't really ever help. They've already done the damage. I'm sorry, Toshiya. I'm so sorry."

March 23, 1983
Hi jurnal. I found you on the floor. I dont no hoo left you, but I remember teacher told me if I rite in a jurnal about feelings, then I wont feel something like bottle up inside? I dont under stand what she means. But I like talking to you. Hi my name is Nishimura Tooru. I’m 7 years old and I’m ugly.

April 3, 1983
Jurnal! I just got in to a lot of truble at scool. A guy was watching this girl eet her lunch and then he just jumped by surpriz and took her food away. The girl started to cry and I dont like it when girls cry. So I jumped on the guy and try to get the food away. The teacher came and I got in truble. I told them why I did it, but they just ignor me. But I came outside and gave the girl her food back. She didnt say thank you or anything. I hat girls like that. I dont want to help girls ever again! There just stupid all the time.

Oh yeah jurnal! I’m sorry I didnt rite for a long time. My mommy and daddy made me do work like wash dishes wash clothes and clean the house. They make me do a lot of things. So that’s why I cant rite a lot. They make me do a lot of things though. I get tired all the time. The teachers always yell at me and tell me I have ugly clothes. I dont no what ugly means, but I think it’s good. Cus when the teacher tells me it’s ugly, the class laugh. My mommy and daddy too. I’m ugly!! ☺

But jurnal, I promis Ill rite all the time!!!!!!!!

May 19, 1983
Hi jurnal. I didnt rite for a long time again. Sorry!!!!! My mommy and daddy let me camp outside tonite tho!! They say every kid went camping. And they want me to ecpeeriens camping. I dont know wat camping is but I’m outside and sleeping outside! It’s fun. But my mommy and daddy are staying inside tho. I went to all the doors but they were loct. I heard mommy say daddys name a lot. But I feel sleepy now. I will rite toomorow morning.

Bye~

May 28, 1983
Jurnal I lied to you and said I was going to rite to you on may 20. I’m sorry. But mommy told me to buy something at the stor. I had to leev scool and come to the stor. She said to by sum thing call pregnusy tes. She told me wat the box looks like and I bot it. Then a polis man came and ask me where I liv. I told him and when I got home I showed mommy what I got for her. She smiled at the polis man and when he left she said I was a bad boy. She said I was bad and ugly. Then she hit me. I cried a lot and I still feel pain in my legs. I said I was sorry but she just hit me and hit me and hit me until I cant feel anything. I’m so stupid!!!! I dont know wat I did rong but I’m so stupid!!! Then she made me do a lot of work after so I cant hav a lot of time for you jurnal.

May 31, 1983
Hi jurnal!!! Today I came from school urly cus teacher told me I smell too much. Daddy had to come and pik me up from scool. And then he slap my head when we were in the car. I did sum thing stupid again. I shud slap myself on the head. I do to many stupid things. I’m happy mommy and daddy hit me cus if they dont then I wood be stupider than now.

Later that day …

JURNAL!!! Mommy said we’re going to hav to hav a baby!!!!!! I hop I get it soon! Then Ill hav sum one to play with. I’m so xsited!!!

June 1, 1983
I’m crying right now jurnal cus mommy hit me and she screemed at me. She said a word I didnt no. Sum thing like uborshun. It sounded bad. But I dont think I did anything rong this time. But she hit me. But she was crying to. And now I dont no wat to do, cuz she hit me but she cryed. I want to hug her, but she will hit me mor. I’m hurting a lot jurnal. I wish you were real so I can hug sum one. My mommy is hurt, but she won’t let me touch her. And I’m sad that she dosnt let me hug her. I hope mommy feels better when the baby comes.

A few months after …

December 15, 1983
I cant find my mommy and daddy!!!!!!! And I’m scared. I went to the likor stor for just 5 minutes and when I came home they disapear. I dont know wat to do. I’m really scared. What if they dont come back!!!!!!? Did I make them mad or sum thing? Cus I told them Id be rite back. Its raining a lot outside. I want my parents back!!!! I’m really scared!!!

July 7, 1993

“Hey Kyo, what is this?” Toshiya rotated an ugly booklet around, “I’ve never seen this before.” He observed the book, resting from digging through Kyo’s personal belongings. Kyo looked over his shoulders to see what Toshiya was looking at and he immediately rushed over from his crouching position to snatch whatever Toshiya was holding.

“It’s nothing.” Kyo quickly deposited his old tattered journal back into the box that had never been unpacked and never looked through since the day Toshiya’s family came and rescued him. Of course, Toshiya and Kyo were together since the beginning of time, so they like to think, and keeping something from one another was out of the question. So why, after all these years, had Kyo decided to keep something from Toshiya?

“Let’s start putting this computer desk together. We have a lot of work to do,” Kyo said, attempting to change the subject. But Toshiya continued to curiously wonder what’s in that old journal that Kyo didn’t want him to see. So, being the nosy boy he was, Toshiya coyly walked over to Kyo to eye him suspiciously before opening the box and retrieving the pieces that will soon be a wobbly computer desk.

---
“Ah, feels good to do a man’s job, huh boys?” Mr. Hara said handing both Toshiya and Kyo bottled water. Mr. Hara allowed himself to lean against the desk, but only succeeding in having a slanted desk almost knocking his balance out of order. He ruffled up their hair, giving them both an approval, splashing and releasing sweat that came from a hard days work. (Who knew putting a desk together was such a difficult task.)

Kyo took a long heavy drink from his water and smacked his lips in satisfaction. “Well, I’m tired. I’m going to bed To-to. Thanks for helping.” He walked away, smiling and yawning, both actions aimed at Toshiya, with his arms raised above his head. Toshiya permitted his eyes to follow Kyo up the stairs and disappear into his darkened room.

Immediately, after closing the door quietly, Kyo lets his arms down and sighed heavily. His facial changed from an accomplished teenage boy , to a sudden sad stricken face. He sat on his bed, eyeing the cardboard box that has been sitting there for quite some time now. He sighed again, tipping over onto his side without any muscle restraints. Kyo allowed his body to relax as he lay there flat on the side of his face, hands, in praying style, between his thighs, as he continued to stare at the box.

He held so many horrible and embarrassing memories in there, and whatever Toshiya held earlier that day only gave Kyo the shivers. He never wanted to live those hurtful moments again. But deciding against it, only to live it one more time, for the sake of his mother’s and father’s memories, Kyo got his muscles ready for a few more steps towards reminiscing.

He yawns once more, forcing his muscles to contract again. He puts one foot in front of the other with great difficulty and heads towards his childhood; something he’d been avoiding since he had met the Haras.

Kyo’s right hand reached out to the flap of the opening and with one finger he lifted it up to expose a corner of the old, beaten up journal. Feeling his heart beating at an alarming speed made him fluster. He stood there looking at the horrible thing, eyebrows furrowed, heart thumping, and anxiety building up inside of him. But whatever was written in that journal, Kyo‘s hand would not let him stop where he intended. It reaches to the rest of the opening, uncovering a small old fabricated journal that horrified him.

Flashbacks suddenly overwhelm him. It was like a ghostly reminder of how his parents acted towards an innocent boy. A little boy who thought his parents hurtful words and harmful behavior was the right way and no other way was acceptable.

His mother’s face swooshes pass before his eyes without a moments notice. Starting with a hazy unclear image of his old living room, he can hear his mother in the kitchen making dinner. Kyo walks in to say hello after coming home from school, lunchbox in hand.

Bare feet, on cold-tiled kitchen floor, slapped against one another making Kyo’s mother turn around at a furious speed and, with no sympathy for a poor 5 year old, pushes him down hard onto the ground with the push of the head. Kyo tries to scramble back up, but was only shoved down again by his mother’s greasy hands, a bit rougher this time.

She hisses, only inches from his face, to make sure this wounded little child gets the message, “Don’t you fucking ever make a sound with those crow’s feet. It’s fucking disgusting!” She spits onto the boys trembling toes.

Kyo’s body suddenly twitched and became disoriented without any voluntary acts. He was unable to call for help, unable to open his mouth, unable to control anything he thought was his body. Then, with another flinch of the arm, Kyo saw a man standing at his doorway.

“Hi there little boy; you look so lovely today.” He said giddily.

Little Kyo was unfazed by the man’s remark, not knowing at all what he really meant. He sits there playing with his toy truck when the old man reaches down to touch the soft skin that was Kyo’s cheek. The little boy raised his head to eye the obese man. Mr. Takai grins and in a rush, grabs the boy from under his armpits and brings him deeper into the house.

Only this time was Kyo able to yell like he did back in his old home. He kicked and screamed at an invisible man only he could see. And on the fourth yell for help, the door was forced open and Toshiya came running in, panting as if he had just ran a marathon.

“Kyo! Kyo! Wake up!” Toshiya had never seen his friend act so strange and thinking it was only a nightmare, Kyo was having, only made the situation seem foolish. But Toshiya looked into Kyo’s face, cheeks sunken, teeth clenched, and sweat dripping. His eyes were closed tightly, as if unable to unhinge them. Toshiya tried calling his name one more time and relief came over him when Kyo opened up his eyes and gave a series of cough fits as a response.

“Are you okay Kyo?!” Toshiya asked, lifting Kyo’s head so it’d rest onto his forearm. He was kneeling on his knees, buttocks resting uncomfortably on his calves.

“I … saw … mo~” Kyo was incapable of getting out what he wanted. Only moments ago did he see his mother’s face and a strange man grab him, but he somehow forgotten half of the event that occurred. Kyo shook his head, “I-it was nothing. I’m fine. It was probably a heat stroke or something …”

“Are you sure? We can go see a doctor or …”

“No, really. I’m okay, Toshiya. Thank you.” He raised himself up off of Toshiya’s forearm, and took a big gulp of water from his bottle. Kyo wasn’t one to show weakness so easily. He turned to Toshiya and asked him to leave if only he didn’t tell Mr. Hara, who was approaching the hallway leading towards them. Toshiya agreed and asked one more time if he felt alright.

“You sure Kyo?”

“Yes, Toshiya, I am. Now go to sleep, you need the rest.”

“Looks like you need it more than me.” Toshiya’s concern was inevitably noticeable. Kyo promised, to himself, he’d never let anyone see that again.

The cardboard box, containing the journal, was closed tightly like it had been before, and Kyo turned his back on it to walk towards his bed - to begin his series of nightmares.

Whatever happened in Kyo’s room wasn’t something casual. Toshiya’s frown increased as he neared his bedroom. He wanted to go back and make absolutely sure Kyo was fine, to make sure he wasn’t taking any medications or any of the sorts. But having his bedroom next door to Kyo’s, with a bathroom in between, was enough, he supposed.

Toshiya stretched his limbs out onto the bed, yawning, incredibly at the same time Kyo did before he fell asleep in his own room. The pair of them couldn’t have found any other person to replace one another. They had been friends for many years - in fact, they were more than friends.

Toshiya’s father took Kyo in, on the night of December 23, 1985, after finding him aimlessly wondering around the streets; two years before Kyo’s mother and father upped and left him, stranded in a moldy and unkempt home. Something about Kyo that day drew Toshiya’s father in and help the ill and mentally wounded boy; or possibly, it was the generosity Christmas tend to offer to the people walking the corners of the streets or strips malls. But all didn’t matter because Kyo was rescued, saved from the evil so many people gave to a starved boy.

The only instinct for the newly orphan was to search for food, and stay in the only home he knew for as long as he could; which wasn’t very long. While out looking for scraps of unfinished food by humans or rats, two years after his parents left, Toshiya’s father’s car pulled up on the side of a well-known restaurant. Toshiya was also there with his father, and when walking into the entrance for a quick dinner, Toshiya spotted a shadow at the very end of the building. He kept his eyes on it - whatever was there, it was moving at a very fast pace.

It was normal for Toshiya to continue to stare, so he did until the little shaped shadow looked up and gazed back.

Toshiya came from a middle-class family on its way up to the top, and his lifestyle at the time was changing dramatically, meaning he became a bit arrogant. So seeing a boy around his age in rags and digging through dirty rotten food was an outrageous sight; more like a repulsive sight.

Toshiya stuck out his tongue as he got a clear shot of the homeless boy’s face, whose face was covered with dirty and water streaks concealing his natural complexion. He rotated on the balls of his heels and started his way up the ramp heading to the restaurant; the restaurant that held hot food just waiting for a mouth to devour it down.

The little boy in rags felt like crying instantly. He did so already when forced to face the world alone, however. But that was the first time, in two years, did he see a kid around his own age look at him with such disgust. He didn’t understand anything, nor did he want to. He only thought to himself, If I know too much, then will cry more! I can’t cry anymore!

The boys stomach grumbled, and he sat himself down next to the trashcan, gripping his stomach to prevent the hunger pains he had. He closed his eyes, tears already running down his cheek, leaving black streaks on his dirtied face.

The little boy whispered to himself, “I want my mama.”

_______________________________________________________________________________
NOTES - If you have any suggestions to a title for this story, feel free to put in your idea. I have Tattered Journal, but I'm still unsure, heh. So uh, Thanks for reading <]=D
-Summary may change due to uncertainty of the stories plot
-Spelling, sentence structure, grammar error, etc. in the beginning of the story is all intentional ^_^
-Errors after italicization was accidental mistakes, >_>

Misconceiving - Chapter 11: Exposed

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 06:02:09 GMT

Title: Misconceiving - 11/?
Author: Me
Pairings: Kaoru/Shinya Toshiya/Die Kaoru/Kyo Shinya/Die Kyo/Die
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Rating: NC-17
Chapter Summary: I came walking from class and cut across the hall to hurry to Shinya and Toshiya, who was waiting outside of the hallway door. The women’s bathroom was around the corner and as I turned, three girls walked out with a smug smile painted on top of their pimple infested faces. I stopped dead in my tracks, hoping they would just pass me. But no, taunting and cruelly destroying a girls emotions was one of their specialties. Sayori weren’t like them, but I guess she’s with them for a reason.

I told her. I finally told her the truth. And what a great time to tell her, right? She’s angry and I knew she was.

While I was laying in bed, with Shinya and Toshiya still hanging around, I thought of her blank expression as she left the house. Was she that shocked that I was gay? All the times that I thought about her reaction, I always thought it’d be half the reaction I saw that day; angry and emotionless. But laying there thinking, I thought it wasn’t such a big deal. “I’m gay.” It didn’t sound bad at all. I was quite surprise by the end of the evening actually that she responded in such a way and thought that I wasted my tears for nothing.

But I still had one more thing to worry about which terrified me more than anything. After a few months of dating, I still didn’t know if she was the type to take revenge upon someone. But I had a feeling she was that kind, and I coward in my bed.

“Hey Kao, you ready to talk?” Shinya asked, who was sitting at the computer desk.

I had my face turned to the wall my back facing them, “No. I still need time; just go home. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Whenever you’re ready Kao.” They stayed for hours trying to comfort me but I just turned them down with every question they asked. And now they left me alone to contemplate Sayori and her possible techniques at exposing me.

I had a huge headache wavering inside but I couldn’t get myself to fall asleep. I tossed and turned all around my bed, disheveling up my blankets into one big knot around my body. I was becoming hot tangled up in the mess and sat up in an instant. I walked over to my window and opened it. I took in the breeze and let it wash over my face and hair. My eyes closed instantaneously and I quickly thought of Die and Shinya. I still had that remaining piece of hope that Shinya would fall for Die, resulting in Shinya being gay, leading to both of our confessions and facing the world together.

But even with the headache bouncing, I wasn’t so upset that night for a strange reason. I felt like I had a boulder lifted from my shoulders after telling Sayori. Although, I still had that sickening feeling of my story being told to every face at school, but I was able to ignore it and just think of how great I felt to finally tell at least one other person.

I jumped onto the computer chair in hopes to catch Kyo online at 12:15 in the morning, and turned on my laptop. Quickly, I grabbed my mouse and clicked on the MSN icon on my desktop.

Email Address:
HawkPassion@hotmail.com
Password:
PurplePenguin

Kyo was online. I couldn’t find a reason to start a conversation with him, so I just went for it and asked him what I wanted to know since Shinya told me about Die’s reason for their breakup as casually as I can:

HawkPassion (12:26 AM): Hi Kyo

15 minutes later …

I’mAStalion (12:41 AM): Oh, hi kaoru
HawkPassion: um, how’s it going?
I’mAStalion: good I guess. How about you?
HawkPassion: I’m good.
I’mAStalion: okay …
HawkPassion: yeah …

10 minutes later

I’mAStalion: did you want something?
HawkPassion: oh yeah
I’mAStalion: what is it?
HawkPassion: it’s about Die
I’mAStalion: what about him

(Obviously said angrily)

HawkPassion: you said that he wanted Shinya
I’mAStalion: and?
HawkPassion: well he told Shinya how you two broke
HawkPassion: and Shinya told us how you two broke up
I’mAStalion: did he? Don’t believe anything he says. He’s just an overdramatic retard
HawkPassion: that’s what I thought
HawkPassion: … at least the overdramatic part …
I’mAStalion: well whatever he says, he’s lying
HawkPassion: that’s what I want to ask you
HawkPassion: what really happened?
I’mAStalion: you want me to start with how a fucking liar he is?
HawkPassion: um yes …
I’mAStalion: tell me exactly the story Shinya told you
HawkPassion: well, he said that die said he saw you with a teacher, quoting, ‘doing a whore’s job’
I’mAStalion: and that’s what pisses me off
I’mAStalion: I was only there to ask the damn teacher for some help
I’mAStalion: was it really my fault if I attracted even the ugliest of teachers?
I’mAStalion: shit I can’t help it if I’m this damn sexy
I’mAStalion: anyway, when die walked in he saw me kneeling on the floor
I’mAStalion: the teacher was in back of me
I’mAStalion: I have to say, the teacher is one horny son of a bitch
I’mAStalion: I don’t know what he was doing behind me but I felt air swoosh around
I’mAStalion: then die comes in and slaps the shit out of me
I’mAStalion: that dumb bastard didn’t even let me explain
HawkPassion: but you were kneeling in front of him
I’mAStalion: yeah and …
HawkPassion: well … you said you was kneeling in front of him and you felt movement behind you?
I’mAStalion: don’t tell me you’re taking die’s side
I’mAStalion: I thought I could trust you
HawkPassion: you can you can! But doesn’t that sound a bit … odd
I’mAStalion: what the fuck are you talking about?
HawkPassion: you were kneeling …
HawkPassion: … nvm
I’mAStalion: oh did I miss something?
HawkPassion: I don’t know
I’mAStalion: gosh kaoru, you’re a dumbass
I’mAStalion: I was picking something up from under his desk
I’mAStalion: my papers fell
HawkPassion: >_> oh right … sorry
I’mAStalion: yeah
I’mAStalion: so that’s my side, reasonable enough?
HawkPassion: yeah of course
HawkPassion: but you mentioned that he was a liar. How did he lie?
I’mAStalion: how?
I’mAStalion: he blabbed to all his idiot friends that I was handing out flyers giving free blow jobs
I’mAStalion: bull-fucking-shit
I’mAStalion: people would want to suck my dick
I’mAStalion: then he goes around and tries to ruin my reputation with more lies
I’mAStalion: examples you asked?
I’mAStalion: “kyo’s a pussy fucking idiot”
I’mAStalion: “he claims he’s gay only for the attention; might I add, attention that’s fading”
I’mAStalion: “Kyo’s penis size is the size of my fucking pinky”
I’mAStalion: SIZE OF HIS PINKY?
I’mAStalion: Where the fuck did his ass get these from
I’mAStalion: he can’t do shit
I’mAStalion: I’m not worried
I’mAStalion: boys like you are everywhere
I’mAStalion: they would never pass up a chance to be with me

Boys like me? What exactly did ’boys like me’ mean? As offended I was, I felt I was glad to hear Kyo wasn’t such scum. Every word must have been said with anger and vengeance, but I liked it and used it to my needs.

After signing off, I fell asleep soon enough after having my head hit the soft pillow.

****
Could it be possible that Sayori took the time in her life to try and destroy mine? That question lingered over the top of my head until I ran into a group of her snotty friends.

I came walking from class and cut across the hall to hurry to Shinya and Toshiya, who was waiting outside of the hallway door. The women’s bathroom was around the corner and as I turned, three girls walked out with a smug smile painted on top of their pimple infested faces. I stopped dead in my tracks, hoping they would just pass me. But no, taunting and cruelly destroying a girls emotions was one of their specialties. Sayori weren’t like them, but I guess she’s with them for a reason.

I cleared my throat, warning that just because mere little girls were surrounding me, I wouldn’t let them get to me. I lifted my foot to move around the clown-faced girls.

A chubby short girl blocks my way, “Hi faggot. What’s the hurry?”

I ignored her, trying to be a gentleman. I moved to the other side to leave, but was blocked once again by a very lengthy looking friend of the chubby girl’s.

“Is my favorite faggot in a hurry to see his boyfriend?” She puckered up her lips, apparently amusing the two other idiotic girls.

With their unintelligent minds, it seemed that they were convince they were already on their way to breaking me down and have me cry them a river. But they were taken by surprise when I spoke up and told them to ‘get the fuck out of my way’.

Of course their minds wouldn’t let them and stayed where they were. A couple of students walked pass eyeing me with an angry face. I don’t know what from, but it was either that fact they know I’m gay, or they believe they think I was cheating on Sayori. But even so, the piglet family didn’t take the chance to keep their mouth shut about me.

“Butt-fucked Kaoru?”

“No! I don’t believe it! But fucked in the janitor’s office.”

“I never knew you were so kinky. Who’s your new BOYFRIEND?”

With each girl and each word coming out of their rotten mouths, the words became more emphasize and much more louder. I saw those two students slow down their walk, straining their necks as to listen to more of the one-sided conversation.

What did it matter that they were girls? I would more than happy, at that time, to sock them square in their so-called face. What kind of person would I be though?

I pushed passed them, calling out as I opened the double doors. “Tell Sayori to meet me tomorrow in the morning at the beach.”

I can’t begin to describe the fear and the hatred I had at the moment. It was boiling over the rims of my head and spilling onto the floor where everyone was able to see it. Hoping like I’ve never hoped before, I rotated my body a good 360 degree angle to try and find the students that walked pass. I had already cried last night, I don’t need to cry now, especially when I’m at school. But I didn’t find them, they were gone with mouths open wide.

My head was spinning and I couldn’t even make out what I was going to do when every student that walked pass me that day would retaliate to my homosexuality.

I was standing in the middle of the school’s quad sweating rapidly. But quite quickly, I heard a loud slap, skin on fabric, and looked up to see red tipping over the stairs leading to the library.

Die had slapped Shinya’s ass, explained with detail, and gave it a harsh squeeze to the sweet cheek. Shinya had great patience and let Die do the right thing and let go. But Die didn’t stop there, he loosened his grip and began caressing Shinya’s lower back but only to move it back to his buttocks. It traveled lower and lower, then low enough to finally reach, apparently, between Shinya’s butt crack.

Shinya snapped and released his anger onto his harasser with a very bony fist to the face and a shove when Die didn’t tip over.

The remaining students who were still on campus turned their attention to Die and sniggered behind their hands. I’m not so sure, but blood was seen from where I was standing. And as Die got up, I did too from my crouching position, I felt pressure in my pants.

_______________________________________________________________
NOTE: I kinda wrote this without really being conscious .. if you get what I mean. I wasn't really paying attention .. haha.

Credit to LucielKat for thinking up Kyo's and Kaoru's screenname =D It fits them perfectly =D

Fanart - Kyo

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 03:25:41 GMT

Q-tip and one charcoal pencil >_>

It's not the duplicate of the actual picture but ... it looks like Kyo, riiiight?

>>link to original pic: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/SannyWanny/music/NishimuraTooru232.jpg

Fanart - Toshiya

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 06:22:23 GMT

I was so frustrated with drawing this! I wanted to pull out my hair. But I got through it and came out with this ... It's not great =[ but I tried.

Misconceiving - Chapter 9: Die's Side

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 06:28:50 GMT

Title: Misconceiving - 9/?
Author: Me
Pairings: Kaoru/Shinya Toshiya/Die Kaoru/Kyo Shinya/Die Kyo/Die
Chapter Rating: PG
Rating: NC-17
Summary: “Oh, be careful, Kyo might pop up from under your bed,” Toshiya said laughing. “He’ll bite your di…”

The next day was any predictable day after a night I just had. My reaction the next morning weren’t so full of energy, but full of aches and pains. I still had plenty of time before school started, so I hopped into the shower and washed anything white, red, and dried on carefully.

I lathered and rinsed before cleaning my body with soap. I raised my arm to wash my neck, working my way down to my abused flesh, excluding the thought of my open injuries. I reached under forgetting about the cuts made the previous night and ran the sponge over the wound, I felt my skin rip to the addition of the sensitive cuts. A little cry of outburst escaped my mouth while I watched the blood drip down from my legs and flowed to the drain.

I finished up my shower and turned the faucet off grabbing onto a towel to dry myself off. I hissed lifting my leg up to get out of the shower.

I lead myself downstairs barely able to walk afraid my entrance would rip more. I couldn’t even sit down properly, so I made up my mind and made my way to school for an early start. I really just wanted to get a glimpse of Kyo before I started my day.

I was dragging my feet along the sidewalk when I saw Die ahead of me. I realized I was walking at a fairly quick pace, even with my tears, and didn’t want to surpass Die. I slowed down, staying about 4 feet away. The trudging of my feet made scuffing noises but I hadn’t realized until Die turned around sounding annoyed.

“Will you pick up your feet when you walk?! That’s what they’re there for.” Die said angrily.

I stared at him, “I’m sorry.”

“Humph, whatever.” He speeded away.

We ended up about 10 feet away after we spoke to each other. I dragged my feet again and it hit me; Kyo mentioned that Die wanted to fool around with Shinya.

I had already passed Shinya’s house a few houses down, but I was pretty sure he was still there. I changed my destination and power walked my way to Shinya’s bedroom window. His room was the only one downstairs of his two story house and it wasn’t so complicated to climb over and through the broken screen.

I knocked, “Shinya, psst, Shinya!” I said half whispering and shouting. “Are you there?”

He walked up to his window and pulled open the curtains, “What?”

“Lemme in.”

Shinya opened his window and let me enter; not giving me a helping hand and allowing me to fall to the ground face first. He quickly opens his closest door and pulls out a shirt to wear. He was absolutely gorgeous; not that I noticed back then.

“Want to go to school early?” I said rubbing my rug-burned face.

“Why?”

“I don’t know; just to be there.”

“No,” he said with a finalization in his tone, but he said it all too quickly.

“What’s wrong? Why so little words?”

“I think I have a stalker.”

“A stalker? You mean Totchi?”

“No. That guy who calls himself Die.”

“Oh … Die? What does he want with you?” So Kyo was right. The moment Shinya confirmed it, my mind immediately had hope that Shinya was like me. It would have made my life a lot easier; probably both. We’d both tell Toshiya and I wouldn‘t have to hide anything. But I was wrong.

“He said something about, ‘Shinya, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you and I together,’” Shinya said mocking Die, “That guys an idiot.”

“Ha,” I said faking my laugh, “Why don’t you give the guy a chance.” The sentence was formed, knowing all too clearly, that I had a seriousness punched into it.

“Are you kidding me?” Shinya retorted, hinting that he found my sentences questionable. He looked at me, “Die’s a moron. And even if I was gay, I wouldn’t date him; a guy who calls himself ‘Die‘. Isn‘t that English for ‘dying‘?”

****
I was anticipating the moment I get to meet up with Kyo again that day. I paid little attention in class and thought about moments of anxiety performed last night. I didn’t know if Kyo would want more, but I was hoping for more; I didn’t need a break from him - yet.

School was becoming the last priority on my list, and Kyo bumped himself up to number 1. I threw all my attention to him, and devoted my study hours to him. I felt like I was his servant and he had control over everything; without speaking a single word of command.

----
Since I began tutoring Kyo three days ago, I felt distant from my two best friends. I hadn’t spent quality time with those two for a while so I decided to invite them over to the beach. We hadn’t been there for a few days and it was a shock to all three of us. I had a couple of hours until Kyo comes over, minus well distract myself with a little catching up.

We headed out for the beach excitedly. Toshiya rolled up his pants and walked into the sea. He stood there kicking the waves away.

“Come inside guys! The water’s nice and warm!” Toshiya yelled over to where Shinya and I sat on the sand. He splashed us with a handful of salt water landing on our pants.

We stayed where we were and talked.

“So Kao; how’s your dates going with Kyo?” Shinya asked sarcastically.

“Dates? Heh, it’s good. He can be a pain in the ass.”

“Really? You’re not the only one who has pain in the ass.” I looked up, startled. Shinya laughed, “Remember when I told you about Die this morning?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t want to tell you two before I was sure. But, I think Die’s hitting on me. Does he really think I’m gay? He can’t even detect his own kind.” Shinya snorted.

“You’re bringing mama a big boy Shinya?” Toshiya said with sandy feet and soaked hems.

“Shut up Toshiya. I’m not gay, and I told him that. But he didn’t take the hint and came over to my house this morning.”

“That’s why he was there,” I said with a realization. “I saw him this morning when I was walking. What did he say?”

“He wanted to walk me or something.”

“Oh, be careful, Kyo might pop up from under your bed,” Toshiya said laughing. “He’ll bite your di…”

“Kyo’s broke up with him though!” I exclaimed involuntarily, interrupting Toshiya.

“Uh, Okay?” said Toshiya looking at me with the corners of his eyes. “I was only kidding.”

“Well anyway,” said Shinya, “He insisted on coming into my house after I said it was infested with cockroaches, but he came in anyway. He sat down and I gave him some orange juice. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, he just started talking about how Kyo broke up with him.” Shinya ran sand through his fingers. “I don’t understand how a guy can whine so much over an ex-boyfriend.”

“How’d they break up?” I asked right after Shinya finished his sentence.

“I wasn’t really listening after he talked about 10 minutes. But he said something about how Kyo was with a teacher after class. Die said he caught him doing a whore’s job or something; ’not surprised. He said he walked into the classroom, socked the teacher in the face and turned over to Kyo and slapped him across the face. Yelling and shouts were exchange; and after that, he just rambled on about how Kyo was scum and crap.”

“Poor Die!! Must’ve broken his heart into two,” Toshiya pitied, holding up two fingers to indicate the broken heart, “Kyo’s such an ass.”

Toshiya was always affectionate, but that day, he seemed extra affectionate. It got me to think, but I shook my head and took defense, “Kyo’s not that bad. He’s just …”

“He’s what?” asked Toshiya when he realized that I couldn’t find any words.

“He’s just scared,” I lied, implying to the others that Kyo had confine in me and told me his thoughts and feelings.

“I’d love to see Kyo scared if I had a chance; take a pic next time.” Shinya said.

----
I told Shinya and Toshiya I had to get back home to tutor Kyo. So, I left them on the beach together and hurried away. I tidied up my kitchen table and went up to my bedroom to pick up bits of paper on the carpeted floor.

He arrived moments later and didn’t attempt to seduce me. I was confused. He didn’t show any sign of affection, besides the overly friendly-ness he gives to everyone he liked. It struck me as odd. I tried to shrug it off, but it felt like something was pecking the inside of my stomach.

NOTE: I felt I hadn't written in forever! I got Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I finished it in two days!! GEEZUS, it's a great book/series. Hehe, anywho, after I read the book, I thought I'd finish the chapter since I had half done already. Hope you enjoyed...

Misconceiving - Chapter 8: Mmmm ....

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 16:54:54 GMT

Title: Misconceiving - 8/?
Author: Me
Pairings: Kaoru/Shinya Kaoru/Kyo Toshiya/Die(?) Kyo/Die
Chapter Rating: NC-17
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Kyo halted abruptly from his suckling when the phone rang. I forced my eyes opened and jumped up, surprised by the sudden interference.
I paced over to the phone and answered, “Hello?”
NOTES: It took me ages to finish the goodies. I had fun though, a lot of fun =D

Kyo and I were walking home together. He was a little ahead of me and I stayed behind wanting to recap my thoughts.

What am I doing here walking with Kyo? I’m only degrading myself. He can‘t be worth my purity. But it’s too late now. I can’t get anything good out of this. But look at him. He’s beautiful. Look at him strutting his hip around like he owns the place. How can I say no to him?

“Hey Kaoru, what are you doing back there? Come walk with me.” I snapped out of my train of thought. “I’ve been feeling really lonely lately after Die left. You’re my only friend, do you know that?” He was lying, I knew he was. I saw him with 2 other boys today at lunch. But I was too horny to think. He sighed, “Kao, can I trust you?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Where do I start? Die might not seem like it, but he can be a real jerk sometimes. He prances around with his ridiculous smile thinking he can take over the world with it. He was the one who broke it off, and now he’s bitching about it! What the fuck am I to do? First he wants me back, and then he doesn’t. Did you know, Kaoru, that after we broke up, he came back crying for me to get back with him? I got back with him hoping it was just one of his mood swings, but soon after we had sex, he left! That bastard. The worst part is he’s taking advantage of anyone he sees at school. You know Shinya right? You’re good friends with him aren’t you? You’re always with that guy. Well, that’s Die’s next target. I think he’s already invited him over to his house. Fuck, I hate that guy.”

Shinya? Shinya’s not gay.

“Ugh! And you know what else he does? He shows off his ‘trophies’. And by trophies, I mean he keeps the under wears of his lovers; shows them off to me. Make sure Shinya doesn’t let him get in to his drawers. That creepy bastard. I’ll show him.” The last remark was said under his breath, but I was still able to hear him. “I have a lot more to say to that ass, but I don‘t want to see him or speak to him. He‘s dead to me.” I heard a tint of a devilish anger.

I looked at him to see if he was calm enough, “Why’d you guys break up?”

“It’s all Die’s fault!” He spat out. I wiped off his saliva that landed in the corner of my eye. “I don’t think I’m ready to tell anyone yet.”

“I understand.” I said a little disappointed.

“Kao, I like you a lot. I felt extra lonely yesterday. I kinda missed you. You‘ll never tell anyone about my secrets will you?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“You’re the best. I‘ll tell you everything I need to say if only you share with me,” he looks down at my hand, and slowly grabs it wounding his fingers making me feel fluttery.

The need to let go of his hands were demanding; someone could have easily seen us. But we turned into an alleyway towards the back of my house, so I kept my hand where Kyo held it. Our palms were fit together so well that I couldn't help but smile. His slender fingers wrapped itself around mine, and I wanted to stay like that forever. I was so oblivious back then, but I thought Kyo would always be there for me.

I opened the door and let Kyo enter first. He had his foot inside, but quickly pulls me into the kitchen. He had both of my hands tightly in his palms. “Kaoru, help me forget Die. You’re the only one that can do it.”

“Me? But what can I do?”

“You can do so many things. I can tell you everything, and you‘ll keep it all to yourself right? We can make each other very happy,” Kyo pressed lightly into me, “I’ll make you so happy you‘ll scream for joy. I know how sad you‘ve been.”

“But … no one knows. I mean no one knows about … about my … sexuality. I don‘t want to tell anyone, yet.”

“Oh that’s just fine. We can keep this … us … a secret, just between you and I.” Kyo had this glisten in his eyes that I couldn’t resist. It was calling out to me and taking over my thoughts. I liked the idea of someone ‘caring’ so much, and he was willing to keep it all a secret. He was just what I needed. I couldn’t wait to taste him.

“Let’s go upstairs and start.” He tightened his hold on me for a bit, then released his grip to lead me to my bedroom. I smiled reflectively.

----
I sat on the bed next to him, expecting at least a kiss. My lips were ready and my body was tense, but Kyo just stared at me. He let his hand slide down my cheek and he quickly turns away to retrieve his notes and books. “Test next week, let’s begin!” He said with a smile.

I felt dumb after that, trying to hide the minor bulge in my pants. But most of all, I felt disappointed. I wanted to get right to the action, but~ I guess I’ll wait just a little longer.

My foot was in the motion of a jack hammer. I was an impatient person, and when I’m impatient, I’m not a very happy person. Kyo was getting on my nerves. He studied, studied, and studied. I wanted him to stop and just take advantage of me, grab me and push me against the wall and do what he pleased, but he kept on reading. I didn’t want to provoke him, so I just talked with a firm voice hinting that I was angry. I had my hand in a tight fist, but I continued discussing whatever was needed to be discussed about.

----
It felt like the hours ticked by slowly and it was agonizing. I had to answer every question Kyo threw at me, and I was the one getting bored. I hated it when Kyo was being productive. It didn’t do any good for me. But the night ended and Kyo did nothing or even suggested that he wanted something other than to study. I think, subconsciously, I only took up this tutoring offer so I’d have sex with Kyo. Thinking about it now, I was one horny teenager.

Kyo packed up his possessions and left for my bedroom door. I followed him to say our goodbyes.

We reached the front porch and I quietly gave him a bye and turned back to my bedroom feeling displeasured.

I was about to close the door when I noticed that Kyo was still standing in the doorway holding the door open.

“Aren’t you gona stop me?”

“What?”

“Aren‘t you gona ask me to stay?”

“Stay here? Why?”

“I told you already; I like you a lot.” I thought he was speaking in terms of friends, but nonetheless, I was happy to hear that, comprehending it in a whole different meaning. I wanted to jump out the roof of my home and cheer. But that wouldn’t come off as ‘cool’ would it?

“Will you let me in?” Kyo said; pun intended.

----
We sat on the couch next to each other. I didn’t know how to instigate the event that was to happen. He, as usual, started everything.

I had my back turned to him looking over at the television set. I couldn’t look at him even if I wanted it. He made me nervous, and if I looked at him then I thought I wouldn’t have done a great job in bed. Although, he was the one who did most of the job that night.

My back was getting chilly and I became aware that my shirt was being lifted by cold soothing hands. I tilted my head to the side finding Kyo looking at my hip where he stopped his hands.

“I didn’t have time to feel your skin last time; it’s gorgeous.” His hands roved up my spine, and the higher it went up, the more chills I got. It did not feel at all strange. It was welcomed with a vulnerable heart.

He took my unmoving body into his arms. His unchanging hands spiraled its way up to my chest. I leaned back into it so he’d explore some more.

He quickly embarked in the searching of my chest while his lips scarcely touches the nape of my neck. He slowly extended his tongue trailing in the direction of my earlobe. He kisses it lightly enough to make me shiver. My whole earlobe was consumed the next moment and he began sucking it making my eyes snap shut.

Kyo halted abruptly from his suckling when the phone rang. I forced my eyes opened and jumped up, surprised by the sudden interference.

I paced over to the phone and answered, “Hello?”

“Kaoru? It’s mom. I won’t be coming home. We’ve got a big order tonight. You think you can cook something up for yourself? They’ve got me working like a dog here.”

“You’re not coming home?”

“I just said that.”

“Hurry up with the meat dish!” A co-worker said.

“I’ve got to go; I’ll see you later. Love you.” She hangs up with a clatter.

My mom was gone all night, which meant I had plenty of time with Kyo. I was glad to have her gone, too, because I will never be able to forget that night. If she had come her regular times, Kyo and I would have hadn’t enough time.

“That was my mom; she said she’s going to be late.” I said, failing at trying to hide my excitement.

“We have the whole night to ourselves?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that gives us plenty of time,” he stood up, “Why don’t you take off your shirt so I can start playing, I‘ll try not to bite this time.” I nodded innocently.

He positioned himself in front of me while I took off my shirt. The hem was lifted up above my head. Kyo took a hold of it and through it across the room. He pulled me in hastily to wrap his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. I could feel the blood rising as he gave no mercy and bit down until my right hand that was holding onto his elbow tightened its grip.

He released his bite and instantly after, he licked the area that was pounding. He patrolled a path up to my lips and began kissing. His mouth was partially open but I still had my lips doubtfully closed. The only person I’ve ‘truly’ kissed was Sayori and I couldn’t get that habitual feeling of her lips on mine. I was much more aware of my surroundings as Kyo kissed me, this time, parting my lips with his tongue, and I couldn’t help but think of Sayori for that split second. However, Kyo succeeded in getting my mind off of her soon enough when his lips were busy intertwined with my tongue. It drove me crazy having him do that. But that wasn’t the only thing that made me blow my mind.

He took my nipple between his teeth and grinded it tenderly. Keeping my nipple in his mouth, he encircled it and gave it a long-lasting kiss. He left the area until he was satisfied with the coloration that took place. All the while, he left his right hand on my deserted nipple as he twisted and rolled it between his index finger and thumb.

In the meantime, his lips traveled down to my naval where his tongue ran a few laps all around.

His left hand was currently positioned on the left side of my chest, while the other hand cupped my ass. His mouth moves away from my naval and touches the button of my jeans. I had developed a bulge so he decided to tease me. His mouth offered open kisses through the thick fabric, but even so, I felt the message sent to my member.

Kyo’s hand that was squeezing my backside made its way towards my throbbing dick. All four fingers were evenly spread out stroking sensually as I let out a deep breathe. He had his finger pads play with my head as he continued to throw kisses all around the side of my cock. I pushed my hips in towards his mouth a bit harder but he stops me where I was. He maneuvered his hand down my fully erect length constricting it enough for me to moan loudly.

He brings down both hands to the button and zipper of my jeans. He turned over the button then brought my zipper down. I felt the cool breeze and space surrounding my cock and simply from that I released a moan. Kyo reached into my pants on either sides and started to pull off my pants. Once they were completely off, Kyo went for the slit in my boxer briefs and finally made his contact with my pulsating cock.

I couldn’t help but shift my hips closer. Kyo looks up at me, “Be patient, Kao. We can always do this again, … and again, and again,” he said seductively. He rips off my under wear and devours my awaiting member. He had already hallowed out his cheeks, sucking my cock with all his might. He kept his suction once he had my whole dick in his mouth, swaying his tongue left to right, and teasingly slides his way back up to the tip my head. He twirled his tongue at the remaining amount of cock in his mouth and let’s go. He lifts it up with his right hand and tongued the underside of my dick. I was able to hear the smacking noises of his lips as he freed his kisses made all around. In unison with his pleasuring, I radiated the room with groans and stifled whimpers.

He went on with tightening his hold on my cock with his mouth. With the help from his hand, he pumped, stroked, and fondled, all with his quickly paced bobbing head going up and down creating a sensation able to spread from my dick to my thumping heart, until my knees were ready to give way and I released into his mouth. I wouldn’t have expected to cum so fast, but Kyo’s mouth movements have done enough for me; considering how bad I wanted him.

It was now his turn to fill the room with nothing but the sounds of our flesh hitting one another and his cries of pleasure making my arms tremble. Kyo was still clothed. He moved up to begin kissing me once more. He grabbed my wrists and placed it under his shirt as to indicate the removal of his clothes. I raised the ‘no future’ t-shirt and placed it neatly on the side.

Taking note on what I’ve seen in my collection of porn videos, I thought I’d begin feeling myself around his permissible body. My eager lips followed the ripples of his muscles. I found myself in the groove of his neck and can feel the sweat melting into my mouth. I licked it up fervently. His whole body was sweating and I took my pleasure into my own hands and lapped up anything he produced.

Kyo suddenly grabbed my forearm painfully and pushed me down until I was in the ‘uke’ position. He opened his book bag to accompany us with some lubricant. He squeezed a large amount onto his hand and slapped it against my entrance. It has never been touched before and to have Kyo touch it so roughly with his now warm hands, I conspicuously moved away afraid of what he’d do.

“Kaoru, it’ll only hurt for a little while,” he said persuasively and still with his erotic voice.

He took a step towards me and finished what he was doing. He got down on his knees to trace my ring delicately. He begins my preparation by gently entering the tip of his finger into my entrance. It didn’t hurt so much until he, without caution, pushed his finger half-way in. I tightened my entrance, grabbing the back of my thighs, to stop it from going any further, but Kyo ignore it and slid in some more, but a lot steadier.

It stung to have his finger in so deep, considering how long his middle finger is. He kept it inside until he noticed my eyes were closed normally and not squeezed shut. He pulled his finger back slowly, making me wince. I did not yet feel pleasure from all this, but I was being patient for a change, and let Kyo do what he does best.

His whole finger was now out at that point, and he traced my ring again to sooth me into a relaxing zone. He brought his mouth near my entrance and gave it a comforting kiss before having his finger in once again. He moved it in and out to help me get use to the pinching feeling. Soon enough, I became used to it and I began noticing the pleasure he intended to give me. He did not hit my most sensitive spot just yet, but I loved the feeling of having someone inside of me. I would have never thought I was be the one getting butt fucked by Kyo. But I liked it all for the better.

He emptied me of his finger and applied a bit more lube and reached over to my entrance. I turned my head to see him holding up two fingers and I quickly turned back around not wanting to see. He slid his two fingers on the outside of my entrance before probing it into me. It began to sting again, but even more so. I kept my hands tightly on the back of my knees both to help me keep steady and help me with the increased pain.

It didn’t take long until Kyo found my prostate. I have never had that area in me touched either, and I was breathing in every insertion he gave me. I still felt the stinging, as my newly ripped entrance was being widened even further, but I kept my focus on my pleasure dome. He passed over it one too many times making me screech out grunts.

He fingered me for a while and not long after, I became accustomed to my stretched member and he decided I was ready for his cock. He still had his pants on, so he wiped his fingers onto his shirt and rid himself of his tight jeans. I saw him naked once more, and I wanted to throw him down on the floor and take any innocence he had left, but how can I, Kaoru, do that?

Anyway, he lubed himself up and pulled me over to the couch. I was placed onto my back and my legs spread out for him. I was nervous, but excitement took over my nerves. I wanted his big cock in me and feel my skin rip as he thrust harder into me. I wanted to hear myself say his name in such a shaky voice that you couldn’t miss how pleased I was.

Both of Kyo’s knees were kneeled on the couch before me. My legs were off to the side as he became more comfortable. He did not say a word to me and swiftly pushed his erection into my entrance. He had his head in and stopped when I winced at how much it pained me more than his fingers. But I wanted it all in, even if I couldn’t take the pain afterwards, so I clutched my hands onto the sofa’s fabric and told him to give all of him to me. He gladly did as I said and pushed in at an alarming speed. I did not what him to do it so suddenly, but I felt the pain either way, and I squeaked out a breathe and sucked all the air I can into my lungs. The hold on the couch became rigid and I was about ready to cry. I have to say though, Kyo wasn’t a completely heartless lover, he cared in his own ways about his subjects. He stayed where he was until I nodded my head ‘go on’. He crawled a few steps closer to me with his knees and with that slight shift, I felt him brush up again my prostate eliminating any thoughts of backing out. He pulled back from me making me lose that pleasure and into another serge of pain. Slowly, he moved back in touching it again and taking it away from me by moving further. He did the same thing as he did with his preparation and he went slowly until I became used to the many minor cuts made.

Kyo seemed like an expert in fucking untouched fleshes, because he knew straight away that I was ready for the big deal. Kyo doesn’t say a word during sex, most of the time, and without saying anything, he pounded into me at his normal speed; which meant he was moving his hips at a rather abnormal speed. Even with the early slow motions of his hips declining my pain, his sudden thrusts made it all come back again. But Kyo knew what he was doing, and when he slid over my pleasurable area, I couldn’t help but moan. And with all of Kyo’s thrusting, I moaned even louder with each growing speed.

The slap of our hips colliding into each other was the perfect sound to end the night. He wanted to hear and sing along to it with our moans, groans, and whimpers. He slid out of me and drags me to the wall and bends me over. I had both hands, palms down, on the wall and he, gently, slides into me. He started with his slow thrusts again but quickly fastens his movements hitting that same spot over and over again until I screamed out his name. I said, “Kyo~” repeatedly, screaming it at the top of my lungs. I had never felt such pleasure before and I never wanted it to stop, but Kyo left me suddenly stranded, and I felt a hot liquid pouring down onto my back. I stayed where I was trying to relax myself. It was the greatest feeling I had ever felt and I became more vulnerable, that night-on, to Kyo.

While I was on the wall, Kyo quickly dressed himself up and grabbed his supplies. He comes around and pulled me up to my fullest height, “Did you like that?” he asked.

“God yes!” I said panting.

He kisses my chest, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The night was absolutely mind-blowing, but what I hated was Kyo’s quick exit. A hello and a goodbye was what you would say to sum things up. But I’m Kaoru and my mind was on only one thing.

Misconceiving - Chapter 7: Again! Again!

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 23:03:22 GMT

Title: Misconceiving - 7/?
Author: Me
Pairings: Kaoru/Shinya Kaoru/Kyo Toshiya/Die(?) Kyo/Die
Chapter Rating: NC-17
Rating: R
Summary: I’m gay, but that doesn’t mean I was in-touch with my feminine side. Well, maybe a wee-bit.

The only ones who were talking were my mom and Sayori throughout dinner. I wanted my mom to become a lot more acquainted with Sayori so I didn’t have to deal with any hardships, or have my mom go through any hardships because of me.

I sat back, ate my dinner, and watched them converse. I tried to listen to whatever they were talking about, but I couldn’t quite catch every single word. It was girl talk, and I’m a guy, do the math.

I’m gay, but that doesn’t mean I was in-touch with my feminine side. Well, maybe a wee-bit.

I had to stay focus even with the nonstop yapping at the table. I had to concentrate on how I was suppose to romantically offer Sayori my ‘love‘.

****
I was not excited nor was I happy when their dinner conversation was over. I had my palms faced down on the table and getting up after the ladies did, I saw that my hands left sweat marks.

I grabbed Sayori by the hand before she had the chance to take a seat on the couch with my mom and led her to my room, “I need to talk to Sayori for a minute.”

“Wait! We have more to talk about!”

“It’ll only be a minute mom!”

-----
I spun her around once we were in my bedroom and pushed the door, but left an opening just so my mom would hear. Sounds gross, but I would’ve done anything to have my mom think I was straight.

I began with kissing her neck. She arched a bit, but pulled back after my hand traveled closer to her breasts.

“What are you doing Kaoru?”

“Sayori,” I placed her hair behind her ear, “I want you.”

“I … we can’t do this here.”

I stepped in closer and looked into her eyes, “You’re beautiful.”

“Kaoru, your mom’s downstairs.”

“It doesn’t matter. I want to show you how much I love you; tonight.”

“Kaoru …”

I stroked her cheek with a finger, “This is the only way I can show you how much I love you.”

“How much do you love me?” She whispers.

“With all my heart.” She closes her eyes.

I kissed her again and this time she participated. I felt so disgusted with myself. I closed my eyes throughout the whole time as we were ‘making love’ to her. It wasn’t my area to be, but she seemed to enjoy it quite a bit.

I moved her to my bed, laid her down gently and began caressing her side. She arches her breasts up until they hit my chest. It was a sign for me to begin undressing her, and so I pulled her shirt off without any hesitation.

I looked down at her and saw that she had on a lacey bra pushing her breasts up so they would form a well-formed cleavage, but I had no reaction to the sight. I closed my eyes for a second to picture Kyo underneath me instead of her.

I opened my eyes when my cock started to correspond to the image and so I slid my hands under her bra and unhooked it. I was surprised to have it unhooked so easily; natural instincts?

I threw the bra across the room and moved down to her nipples. I had my eyes closed once again and Kyo’s nipple was in my mouth, sucking and biting and teasing. He, I mean she moaned, which was another sign for me to go even lower.

----
Okay, so I’m sure you wouldn’t want to hear me fuck another chick, so I’ll skip to the ending. I was positioned on top of her, as I was with Kyo, and being careful, because it was her first time, I believe, I thrust slowly.

I had my eyes closed the whole time.

Kyo was the one moaning and tightening his grip on my waist. He was the one curving his back into an arc. Imagining all that was enough for me to perform my best with Sayori; seeing that in my head was enough for me to cum. I released into my condom; I didn’t know where to put it.

And don’t think I didn’t put on a condom; how stupid could I have been if I didn‘t?

I lay on the bed next to her panting. I looked over to see she was panting also, her breasts going up and down as she inhaled and exhaled. I couldn’t believe my action. I didn’t feel anything at all after sex. I took her innocence away, and I know she would never forgive me when I tell her my secret.

I didn’t really have to tell her, but she has the right to know.

She scooted closer to me and laid her head onto my shoulder. I didn’t want to be near her after doing what I did and told her to leave; politely of course.

“Sayori,” I kissed her forehead, “You should be getting home, your mom’ll worry.”

“But I want to stay here with you.”

“I want you to stay, too. But your mom will come knocking, she‘ll find out.”

“Who cares if she does? I want to be with you.”

I lifted her head so she would face me, “If you want to see me again, you’ll go home.”

She stares up at me, “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” and we kissed.

Quickly, after Sayori left, I hopped in the shower and began cleaning anything I thought was considered ’dirty’. What was really dirty and careless was my mind. But I couldn’t wash that clean if I wished to.

It was the worst thing I could have done to anyone. Everything in my life was so misconceiving at this point.

“Sayori, I’ll see you soon,” my mom said cheerfully. I’m pretty sure she heard everything.

“Bye Mrs. Niikura.”

****
I didn’t sleep very well, again, that night. So, again , I stayed up all night and morning. At least tomorrow I get to meet up with Kyo.

----
“Kaoru, you got laid!” Toshiya practically shouted.

“W-what?”

“You got laid! I know that face! You got laid!”

“Uh, it’s … um …”

“Hah, he’s not denying,” Toshiya said to Shinya, “How was it? It was with Sayori right?”

“Is it true Kaoru?” Shinya ask. It seemed as though Shinya was a little disappointed. But I didn’t notice at the time. I didn’t notice much of anything about Shinya then.

“Heh, yeah, it is.” I said rubbing the back of my head, turning a shade of pink.

“How was it?” Toshiya said as Shinya looked down at his feet.

“I’m not telling.”

“Why not?” Toshiya began to whine.

“You didn’t tell me who you fucked; I don’t tell you how it was.”

“But I have a reason; a really good one! You just have to wait. Now, tell me, tell me!” Even with the high level of amusement I felt from Toshiya, I was still annoyed with how nosy he was being. I didn’t want to lie to them and say it was great, so I just kept quiet; same as Toshiya.

“Totch, leave him alone.” Shinya said.

“I’ll get it out of you whether you like it or not, Kaoru!” Toshiya yelled before Shinya dragged him off to class.

----
I sat at lunch with Sayori, leaving Toshiya and Shinya alone for the day. She dragged me everywhere to introduce me to her friends that I haven’t already met. I was getting exasperated with all the, “Hey guys! This is my boyfriend. He’s the best ever! I LOVE~ him so much!” It’s sweet, I’ll admit, but it wasn’t fun for me. She acted as though we were getting married in a week or so.

But I had something to look forward to that day’s afternoon. You know what I’m talking about - Kyo. Even if he doesn’t have that cuddly feeling to him, he was there for my use. I released anything I had inside of me in the form of liquid.

A third day of sex? Sounds good to me.

NOTE: A third day of sex? Haha, I'm not sure about that question. Raise your hand if you want to have sex three times in a row =D

Misconceiving - Chapter 6: Fun-filled Night

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 06:49:47 GMT

Title: Misconceiving - 6/?
Author: Me
Pairings: Kaoru/Shinya Kaoru/Kyo Toshiya/Die(?) Kyo/Die
Chapter Rating: PG
Rating: NC-17
Summary: I finally found her sitting at a lunch table with one of her friends, “Sayori,” I forced myself to wrap my arms around her, “come over.” I smiled into her neck.

“Come over? Right now?”

“Yeah. My mom misses you. And I miss you too.”

NOTE: The next chapter. Any mistakes tell me ^_^ If anyone is willing to, can someone design an icon for this series? I don't like mine seeing as it was produced using 'Paint'. If anyone is willing to, I'd like Kaoru with "Misconceiving" on it. Credits will go to you of course =D Thanks in advance.

I stood under the showerhead reflecting the recent event. I could have done it with someone that I cared dearly about, but I let my hormones get in the way. I had my first night with Kyo, the one who goes around school terrorizing students for his amusement. He had only broken up from his longest relationship and I was his first prey. I didn’t know if I should have felt honored or ashamed. But while in the shower, I was trying to process what I did to Kyo or what Kyo permitted me to do. I was actually inside him. I had my dick stretch him out and I was overwhelmed with the satisfaction of feeling someone in such a way. Kyo’s words came back to me, his compliment, not a very detailed one, but it came back to mind making me blush. He wants more from me?

Cleaning the mess off and washing thoroughly that night, I stepped out of the shower into a foggy restroom. I dried myself off and wrapped the towel around my waist. I walked over to the mirror, wiped the steam off, and stared at myself. So this is what Kyo saw. I couldn’t comprehend what just happened the more I stared at myself. I mean, I fucked Kyo? I had sex. Kyo’s coming back for seconds? The excitement was building up inside of me. What I’ve been longing for had been given to me! It was a dream come true! If only having your dream come true was the one and only part of it. But who knew your dreams could bring consequences. I just wasn’t able to keep my pants on; especially when Kyo’s around.

I tore my gaze away from the mirror and sauntered out. I sluggishly dressed myself in pajamas. I ran a comb through my hair only to untangle the big knots. I turned away from my dresser to sit on the edge of my bed hoping there was any aura left around that I can still feel. I sucked in any scent that was left behind and I smelt Kyo’s cum still lingering on my bed spread.

I let my open eyes wonder to the bedside when all I could imagine was how the bed shook. I picked up the magazine that was lying on the floor. Then it hit me! My mom was home, she met Kyo. I tossed the magazine aside and hurriedly jogged downstairs.

I peeped through the balcony of the stairs before letting her notice me. She was setting up the table for dinner and if you looked carefully, you might be able to see a question mark taped to her forehead. Her face was like a puzzle and she’s the one trying to put it all together. She just walked back and forth with forks and spoons apparently thinking. The only thought that came to my mind was, Oh shit!

I quietly entered once my mom was finished setting up, “Hi Mom. When did you get home?”

“Oh Kaoru!” she got spooked; “I came … about an hour ago.”

“Oh yeah? I didn’t know.” I stood there ineptly, “Did you happen to see someone on the way in?” I had thought that maybe I was delusional after having Kyo leave so quickly.

“Do you mean Kyo? Yes, I did see him. Uh, he’s coming tomorrow for more … studying, right?”

At this point, we both were breathing in ‘awkwardness’. “Yeah he is, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.” Tension was in the air, and it wasn’t helping.

---
The only sound that was between us was the sound of silverware clinking against cheap china dishes. I wanted it to stay that way but she spoke up. She waited a few minutes after we started our dinner before asking questions, “Kaoru?”

“Yeah?”

“How’s it going with Sayori?”

“Fine, why do you ask?” What I really wanted to say was Oh fuck! She’s questioning me. She knows. She fucking knows!

“I haven’t seen her around lately is all. I kinda miss her.”

“She’s been busy. She tells me to tell you ‘Hi‘ everyday. Um, by the way, she says ‘Hi‘.”

“Oh really? And you’re just telling me now?”

“Yes?”

“Well, tell her to come over this weekend. I’ll make dinner for all of us.”

“Oh we can’t. I’m tutoring Kyo all this week, remember?”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry, but we can do it next week. I’m pretty sure we’ll all be free by then.”

“Okay. I‘ll, uh, go write it down in case I forget.”

She got up slowly, walked around the table and into her office that was just down the hall. I waited patiently hoping everything would go the opposite of what I was thinking. She quickly came back out holding a piece of paper in her hand. She placed it on the table near her plate. She didn’t say anything again until I had finished my portion of the meal.

“How about I wash the dishes tonight, mom? You seem tired.”

“Kao?”

“Yeah?”

“I found this in your room.” She handed me the piece of paper she, not long ago, brought out.

It was a page from an article; “Interview with Sho, Hikaru, and Kai!”

“It‘s an interview with gay porn stars. Does this belong to you?”

“OH that? Ha-ha,” I tried to fool her, “It was Toshiya’s idea of a joke. He left it in my room the other day. I have no idea where he got it though. I think you should be questioning him instead.” I snorted.

She kept her eyes on me for a while, “Maybe I will.” My heart was screaming when she looked up at me after turning away, “I don’t know what you did with Kyo, but clean the kitchen floor.”

My heart was leaping out of my chest. I was glad that she dropped the topic quickly, but she had the know-it-all look to her, and it made the strands of hair on my neck stand. I panicked in my room throughout the night. I didn’t want her to find out - at least not this way. She had always teased and joke about gays, and now how would she react to her son being one? She’d be devastated. I can’t put her through that.

But she didn’t just tease at how gays were more feminine than most of her girl friends, but she didn’t like them much either. She’s not very religious, but she still liked the idea of boys fucking girls and girls spreading their legs for boys. It wasn’t a situation she was willing to accept if I told her anything faintly gay.

So, I reassured myself as I lied in bed. I’ll just have to hide any suspicious clues. I’ll bring Sayori around more. She’ll get over it eventually.

I was so close to having her find out my secret identity, though, and I was going out of my mind. It was scary at the moment. I wanted nothing but to keep it from her. It was just another priority added to my list.

I kept my eyes closed until morning, but I wasn’t sleeping. I was panicking so much that I just had to think up of a plan to keep her away from any ideas. I ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY did not want her to find out.

The result of having a sleepless night brought me to realize that I really did not like girls in any way sexually which made me feel worst for Sayori. But I had to do it, so I did it.

****
It was Tuesday morning when I reached that conclusion. The sun had risen and now there are only a few hours until school began. This time I didn’t feel queasy when I crawled out of bed, just extremely tired. I brushed my teeth, picked out my clothes for the day, put everything where they belonged on my body, and pulled on my socks. After doing so, I set out into the bright sun, leaving my mom a kiss on the cheek. It was a chilly morning even with the sun out, but I sustained to head off for my daily brain exercise. And along the way, I found Shinya.

“Shinya!” I yelled.

He turned, “Hey! Where were you yesterday? You didn’t pick up your phone.”

“AH gees, I forgot to call. I was tutoring Kyo remember? For this whole week.”

“Oh that’s right. How’d it go?”

“It went … pretty well; very well actually.”

“Did it now?”

“Yeah, he’s a smart guy. I guess he doesn’t want to show it off too much.”

“Right~”

We treaded onto the front lawn of our school where I greeted my girlfriend with a fairly quick kiss. An odd feeling came over me and it told me not to touch her; it felt wrong. She glared at me as if she’s tolerated too much of my nonsense and she‘s had enough. I walked her to class, however, and tried my best to hide my plea to let go of her hand.

I was still worried about my mom having any sorts of knowledge of my orientation. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. Unfortunately, it did not help with the Calculus test I had that day. But if I wanted my mom to keep thinking I was a straight male, then I’d have to start now, or she’ll certainly take things into her own hands and find out what’s what.

I walked to AP Chem. with Toshiya and by then I had already made up my mind. I had to cancel plans with Kyo for just today. As much as I wanted Kyo again, I had to cancel my plans just for today. Just for today.

And so I told him, “I can’t tutor you today, Kyo. Something sudden happened.”

“What? Are you kidding me? There’s a quiz this week.”

“I know, but I … I need to spend some time with Sayori; it’s urgent and it’s just a day off.”

“You’re not feeling weird after last night are you?”

“OF COURSE NOT!” I blurted out, without meaning too.

He grinned, “Of course. Oh well, you‘ll just have to wait another day.” I think he kind of pouted - a rare sight.

****
It was now after school and I had to catch up with Sayori to bring her home to mom. That night was tough, but I got through it with the thought of Kyo loitering in my head.

I finally found her sitting at a lunch table with one of her friends, “Sayori,” I forced myself to wrap my arms around her, “come over.” I smiled into her neck.

“Come over? Right now?”

“Yeah. My mom misses you. And I miss you too.”

She smiled back, “And here I thought you’ve forgotten about me.” She turned and faced me, “I’d love to come.” And she kissed my lips. I wanted to back away, but I had better self-control than that.

****
We arrived, home sweet home, to the sweet smell of cinnamon. I sat Sayori down on the couch and picked up the phone to call my mom.

“Hey mom, get out of work early. Sayori’s here and she’s waiting for some dinner.” I said with some sort of a teasing tone to it.

“Is she really? Oh great! I’ll come right away. We have leftovers here. I‘ll grab some on my way out.” We hung up.

I faced Sayori, “She’s happy you’re here. She’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“You’re mom’s really nice Kaoru. I like her a lot.”

“The two women I love likes each other. I like the sound of that.” No, I hate the sound of that! Wait, did I just say …

“Kaoru, what did you just say?”

“What?”

“You, you said the two women you … love …”

“Heh, I did, didn’t I.” I virtually socked myself in the nuts.

She hopped off from the couch and bounced over to me. She swung her arms to tighten me in her hug. “I love you, too!”

I felt awful. I felt even more awful after deciding on what I was going to do to her; or to sound more polite, with her.

Misconceiving - Chapter 5: The Only Night?

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 19:38:29 GMT

Title: Misconceiving - 5/?
Author: Me
Pairings: Kaoru/Shinya Kaoru/Kyo Toshiya/Die(?)Kyo/Die
Chapter Rating: NC-17
Rating: NC-17
Summary: I stood where my back door was. It was wide open. I could remember thinking to myself that I swore I closed it before I left. I didn’t bother locking, though. The neighborhood was safe enough.
NOTE: =D This my second time doing this kind of theme -wink- but I think my first time writing it was much better than this. I like it though soooo enjoy =D

I woke up that morning feeling queasy. It took my mom several calls of my name until she finally got suspicious. She knocked on my door. I couldn’t get up to answer, I just stayed and groaned.

She opened my door slowly, peaking in through the small crack she made.

“Hon? It’s time for school.”

“Ugh.”

“What’s wrong Kaoru?”

“I don’t feel too good.”

“Are you sick?” She fully stepped into my room. She walked towards my bed and pulled the covers away from my shoulders. She wiped my sweat off of my forehead and felt the warmth rising. “You’re burning Kaoru,” she continues to feel around my face; “I think you should stay home for the day. You’re sweating like a pig.”

“Mom, I can’t. I,” a sudden head rush came over me as I tried to get up, “I have to go. I have tutoring duties.”

“Well, this is the first. You actually want to go to school?” I saw her eyes travel down to my bed side, but quickly turns to me, “You should stay in bed. I’ll cook up some chicken soup, and I’ll be off to work. I’ll leave some medicine on your dresser before I leave, sounds good?”

“Mmm … ‘Kay.”

“Hopefully I’ll be able to get off of work before dinner. I’ll see you later Kaoru.” She kissed my forehead and left.

****
Soon after my mom departures for work, I forced myself out of bed and down the stairs, bringing my medicine along. I don’t know what I did to have had a fever all of a sudden, but it did come out of nowhere.

I poured myself a glass of water and quickly downed the whole thing in the company of my medicine. I immediately went to go lay on my couch wrapped in a blanket watching television. I started to dose off, but my stomach quickly reminded me that I was starving.

A few minutes of relaxing after taking some drugs gave me enough strength to walk over to the kitchen without any trouble. I grabbed a bowl and filled it with soup and sat alone in the dining room. I hope Kyo’ll understand. He can wait another day or two.

****
I was home, starting to feel lonesome. I had nothing to do all day, and my body felt 5 times better than it did when I woke up. I guess it was just one of those, uh, half-a-day fevers. Well, at least I got to stay home. But I decided to catch up on some reading and projects. I can never have a day off from school or else I’d get into my old habits again.

So that was my day. I was at my desk, bed, floor, kitchen table, or patio, just working away on my future.

I’ll take a wild guess and say I worked on homework for about half an hour and got tired. My hand started to cramp up and so I decided to push myself up and walk over to the beach. I needed that day off; especially that exhausting 30 minutes of work.

****
I sat down on the soothing sand with my shoes off. I had my toes dug into it while I looked out into the sea. It was a nice and breezy day, not too hot or cold. It was only here that I can feel at peace with myself and the world. This was my secret hiding place, where I allowed everyone to relax also.

I loved how the smell of sea covered my entire body as I let go of all my thoughts and enjoyed what Mother Nature had to offer me. I was truly happy when I sat there on the sand, swallowing every bit of love the ocean was presenting.

After staying for a little over an hour, I headed off back home. I thought I’d make my mom something to eat tonight since she’s been working so hard lately. I had never really shown her how much I appreciate all the things she’s done for me. She’s been my mom and dad and it’s about time I show her how much thanks I had for her.

****
I stood where my back door was. It was wide open. I could remember thinking to myself that I swore I closed it before I left. I didn’t bother locking, though. The neighborhood was safe enough.

To be careful, I glanced inside before having my entire body out in the open. Everything seemed to be clear and safe, so with one final glance to make sure there wasn’t a trap, I walked into my own home and sitting at my kitchen table was none other than Kyo himself.

“How’d you get into my house?” I said, trying to hide how frightened I was.

“You left the door unlocked,” Kyo took a bite out of an apple, “That’s not very safe. Someone can just waltz in here and rape you.”

I couldn’t respond to such an outspoken statement.

“Anyway, shouldn’t we be getting some work done?” Kyo said.

“But, It’s … the …”

“What’s wrong? You said you’d help me. Don’t you want that A?”

“Yeah, but … I’m sick today, I thought you’d just wait until tomorrow.”

“I don’t have time to wait; I want my grade boosted up now.”

“Uh …” I didn’t know what to say. I had no idea why I was so nervous.

“Have any lesson plans for me?” He asked, taking another bite of his apple.

“Yeah, um, I’ll go get it and we’ll go to the library.”

“Library? Why can’t we just do it here? It’s more romantic this way.”

“Oh, ‘Kay …”

I ran upstairs to retrieve my notebook with scribbles of Chemistry notes. I quickly ran back down to find Kyo lying on my living room couch. I took a step forward and he cocks his head to get a good look at me. He smiles and tells me to come over.

“It’s much more comfortable this way.”

I began to sweat again. It was beginning to seek through my shirt; it started to drip down my forehead. Oh crap, he can’t see me like this.

I sat on the floor next to him and opened the notebook. The first thing I explained to him was amino acid structures, “This is simple stuff,” I said, my voice shaking slightly, “and all you have to do is remember each one in order to pass the test next week.” I handed him the notebook so he can go over each one carefully before jotting them down himself.

Everything seemed to be going fine after a few more lessons here and there. But he started to get restless. He initiated our night by inviting me over to sit next to him on the couch. So, naturally for me, I went and sat next to him, not wanting to be a rude host. Once I sat down he lays his head on me, shifting so he’d get into a more comfortable position for him. He continues to turn the pages of my notes.

I had never had a man, much less a woman, be so close to my crotch. My stomach made loops all around, twists and turns, circles and knots. It made me sick.

He sat up, “I’m tired of studying. Let’s take a break. Do you have anything to eat?”

And so we rummaged through the fridge for a bit. I stood as close as I can to the opening while Kyo was behind me looking through for whatever he can see pass me.

I felt a hand on my waist.

“Kaoru, lets go study in your room. It’s getting too chilly down here. I’ll meet you up there.” He walks off, “What way do I go?”

“Uh, y-you turn left and it’s the first door.”

“I’ll see you there.” He smiles.

I dropped everything I was holding on to the floor and made a mess. But without thinking, I followed Kyo grabbing whatever was near me and left upstairs to find out what more he planned to do. Because when he touched me for that flat second, I felt a twitch down below. I had to hurry and find out what he’s thinking.

I tripped climbing the stairs.

When I got to the very top, I straightened myself before entering. Kyo was holding something different from the notes I handed him earlier. I marched over to his direction and found that he was holding one of my gay porn magazines.

“Kaoru, I can’t believe it.” He said aloud, while I stayed quiet, “I have the same one.” He put it back where he found it; near my bed. “Did you bring anything to eat?”

“Huh? … Oh yeah. I brought,” I look at what I brought, “a carrot. I’m sorry; I wasn’t looking at what I was grabbing. I’ll go get something.”

“Nah it’s okay. I’ll eat that. So, why you were absent today.”

“I was sick.”

“Really? Come here.” He sounded concerned, “Are you feeling better?” He swipes the few strands of hair covering my eyes away and feels my forehead.

“I’m good now.”

“Are you sure? You feel a bit warm. You’re face is still burning a bit.”

“I’m fine. It was just a short fever.”

“You made me worry for a bit Kaoru.”

“Sorry.”

We sat there in the awkward silence for a quite a long time until he broke the silence, “Are you sure you’re okay Kaoru? I don’t want to be responsible for your lost of rest.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t want you to get any sicker.” Wow, I thought, He must really care.

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine. Your grade is more important.”

“Let me feel your head again.”

He moved in closer, touching my forehead as if he was this motherly type of man. He felt my cheeks and I began to blush ferociously. He was much closer now, and I was breathing harder.

“You’re even red Kaoru. I don’t think you feel good.”

“I … I’m good.”

“You can stop pretending. Look at your neck it’s sweating.” He wipes the perspiration that was accelerating down my neck. He moved in closer.

“It’s moving down your shirt.” He traced my sweat to my chest. He leans in closer. “I don’t want you to be sick any more Kaoru. Maybe you should just sweat it all out.”

Kyo sat there staring at me as if he was waiting for my shirt to become wrenched with my own sweat. I turn to look at him to show that it wasn’t necessary for him to care so much. He just stared back, waiting patiently, so I distinctively turned away from his gaze.

“You won’t get any better at the rate you’re sweating.”

He reached over to my left side to get a hold of my hand, and he placed it on his waist. He shifted his head so his lips were scarcely touching my cheek. “You’ll feel a lot better.”

I stayed perfectly still the first moment he positioned my hand on his waist. Even so, he developed those scarce kisses into a sensual kiss traveling down to my trembling lips.

GOD it was absolutely mind-blowing to finally receive a longing kiss. I can’t even begin to describe how wonderful it felt to have another man’s lips plastered to mine, having all the right movements being taken care of by the person I desired so much at the moment. I mean the littlest attention from Kyo made me melt into a puddle of mud that day onwards.

In the excitement that was emitted, I grasped his shirt into my palm as I took in all his kisses that were laid on every inch he felt I needed. Once I felt his tongue make contact with my own, I almost immediately pushed in harder into his moisture mouth.

We had tongues swirling and twisting against one anther and as much as I enjoyed that, Kyo began sucking my tongue as if he hadn’t eaten in ages. I couldn’t handle it any longer and threw my legs onto his lap. I took a hand full of the hem of his shirt and raised it slightly, exposing a bit of his skin. But soon after, I finished taking his shirt off the moment the need for breath was crucial.

I stared at the newly revealed chest and abs, and I was stumped to have found such a fit and lightly muscular man sitting beneath me. I couldn’t keep my hands off of him so I greedily began caressing his chess as I raveled in the beauty that was shown to me. Kyo stopped both of my hands and I looked down at him expressing that I wanted to do it. He leaned in forward to bite my bottom lip. He pulled me in closer so he can kiss my chin line. I gladly lifted my head up so he’d have his time suckling on my neck. He, too, took off my shirt and began unbuttoning my pants.

By now I was fully erect and Kyo’s slow movements weren’t helping with anything. I took control and slapped his hands away so I could undo my own pants. I stepped down from where I was sitting and let every scrap of clothing I had to fall to the floor. So now, I was completely naked cherishing the moment that Kyo saw me nude. I enjoyed having the other man look at me as he stood up from the bed and walked towards me.

He began with giving me kisses on my chest. He licked my sternum and moved down to swirl his tongue around my pointed nipples. I closed my eyes trying to remember every move he made because I knew that I’d never get this again.

He had his hands on my lower waist as he moved his tongue down my abdomen. He gave light kisses until he reached the beginning of my hardened cock. He placed himself in a more comfortable position with his whole bare feet on the floor legs wide open. He, again, kisses my erection licking it where he thought teasing was wanted. But as anxious I was, I was in no mood to be patient and so I thrust into his mouth making him choke from the sudden surprised.

He looked up at me angrily and bit my penis but recovered me from the pain when he started to fill his mouth with my shaft. His cheeks were sucked in making them seem hallow. All the times I looked down at him and saw him bobbing his head, I moaned even louder. His facial expression was there only to excite you some more.

He was done with playing with me, and now he expected something from me. Kyo grabbed my hands and allowed me to take his pants off. Once that task was dealt with, he bent over the bed and spread his legs as wide as he can to show off his entrance. It was even better in person.

I got onto my knees and kissed the butt cheeks moving closer and closer to his asshole. I opened my mouth and let my tongue slip out. I felt movement from Kyo as he began pumping his dick; all the while, I had my tongue intruding into Kyo’s entrance. Yes, it was odd at first, but there was nothing else that I wanted but that.

I tried my best to make my first time enjoyable for us both and I believe I did succeed. He took in a breath when the tip of my tongue left him.

He turned around and faced me. He reached over to his school bag and pulled out some lube. So he was planning this all along …

Kyo poured some into his palm and onto my dick. He smeared it so that it was well coated before he started to prepare himself.

He turned back around with some more lube on his hand and caressed his entrance alone. His middle finger was stuck out as he encircled it. He, then, gently pushed his finger in slowly. He moaned at his own invited intrusion. With his long slender fingers, he moves in and out. And without my noticing, I was thrusting my hip to the rhythm of his finger.

He finally removed them once he decided he was ready. He turns his head, “I’ll let you be on top tonight.”

I didn’t know what that meant, but all I knew was that I was being invited to finally start the ritual. I made sure I had enough lube on and had my head adjacent to his hole. With my left hand, I wrapped myself around Kyo’s waist and used my right hand to lead my cock in the right direction. Kyo moved back and I moved forward to have more contact with each other. After initiating the contact, I wrapped my right arm as I did with my left. He began thrusting first and I couldn’t help but take his control and turn it into mine. I had my hips in fast movements; enough so I can hear our hips slap each other.

Kyo backs into my hip and rotates his lower body making my heart skip a beat. It was incredible how he felt. My first time having sex and it couldn’t have gone any better.

Stopping any motions that were happening, Kyo, without breaking contact, turns his entire body and laid himself on the bed. His legs were wider than ever has I leaned in to get further in. We were chess to chess now. I tilted my head downwards and started to thrust my hips once again. It felt amazing to lose myself in Kyo, and I soon after, I released any hot liquid I had that was built up inside of me.

We both stayed in that same posture as we waited to catch our breath.

I slid myself out of Kyo gently and sat on the bed with my eyes closed, I will definitely do this again! Kyo also sat up next to me.

“You were pretty good for a new guy.”

“What?”

“You have a hidden talent Kaoru. I might rethink coming back to you.”

“R-really?”

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow. Study at your place tomorrow, same time?”

“Y-yeah.”

Kyo stood up first to retrieve his belongings as I got ready to take a shower. I felt hot and stinky. I was soaked with sweat.

He got dressed, while I watched, and packed up his notes and books. He waved good-bye, walked out of my room and I heard, “Oh hi, you must be Kaoru’s mom. I’m Kaoru’s study buddy.”

“Oh, it's nice to meet you Kyo.” She sounded strange.

“Same here. I’d love to chat but my mom must be worried. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.”

“Bye.”

THANKS FOR READING =D

Misconceiving - Chapter 4: Tutoring

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 07:55:18 GMT

Title: Misconceiving
Author: Me
Pairings: Kaoru/Shinya Kaoru/Kyo Toshiya/Die(?)Kyo/Die
Chapter Rating: PG
Rating: NC-17
Summary: “Hey Kaoru,” Kyo whispers to me in AP Chemistry, “What are you doing today after school?”
NOTE: This chapter is quite short I believe. And I couldn't find a good name for the teacher so ... you can see where my imagination stops.

THANKS TO WHOEVER READS MY FICS! I APPRECIATE IT A LOT. AND THANKS FOR THE COMMENTS, THEY ENCOURAGE ME SO MUCH. EVEN THE ONE OR TWO I RECEIVE, IT PUSHES ME. THANKS AGAIN =D

“Hey Kaoru,” Kyo whispers to me in AP Chemistry, “What are you doing today after school?”

“Nothing, why?” I asked

“Well, I need homework help, and who’s a better person to help me than you?”

“Oh, um, I’ll have to check my schedule.”

“Bullshit, you have no schedule. Mr. Bleep,” Kyo raises his arm, “I’ve found someone to help me raise my grade, but he’s refusing. You think you can talk to him for me?”

“Really, who have you found?” Mr. Bleep raised an eyebrow.

“Kaoru. Niikura Kaoru. You’ve seen his grades earlier in the year. Look at it now. I think he’d be perfect to be my tutor.”

“Hmm, the Niikura Kaoru in this class? Well, he is a good example. Especially for your grades. It’s up to him though, Kyo.” The teacher turned to me, “Kaoru, would you like to tutor Kyo. You won’t get paid, but you’d be helping a fellow student out.”

“I’m not sure …” I said as I looked up from my class work.

“OH, come on, Kyo can’t be always bad. Um, well, he can’t be too bad. He’s not a bad person if he tried. He’s not bad if he’s willing to sacrifice his free time to reach his goal grade. He’s not bad … yeah. How about it Kaoru? I’m sure this will help out in your college applications.”

“Yeah Kaoru. Pweeeease~. I’ll give you the best time you ever had if you do.” Kyo smiled innocently - one of those deceiving smiles.

“I don‘t even know what to start with,” I said under my breathe.

“You don’t need to worry about that. I’m sure Kyo will be more than happy to begin the process for you.”

“Oh yeah, I’ll be of much help as you are with me.”

“Kaoru, you’d be helping. That should be an automatic yes.” Mr. Bleep said persuasively, “no pressure or anything.”

“If I do this, can I have my grade booted up to an A?”

“You know I can’t do that. You have to earn your grade.” He winks at me.

I understood the hint, “Alright, I’ll do it,” I said falling for Kyo’s trap. It was too tantalizing to pass up the chance.

“Great! Why don’t you two start studying next week? Give Kaoru some time to get his plans done.” Mr. Bleep announced.

“I’m sure me and Kaoru will get lots of work done. You’ll see my grade almost as high as Kaoru’s.” Kyo smiled, another one of his devilishly beautiful smiles.

****

“Hey mom, I’ll be late all week next week. I have to tutor someone.”

“Oh really, who?”

“Some kid named Kyo.”

“What time will you be home?”

“Not too late; I’ll say around 5.”

“Great, just leave me his number on the fridge just case of an emergency.”

“Okay mom.”

****

“Hey Kaoru, is something the matter?” Sayori asked.

“Hmm?”

“You seen quiet.”

“Oh nothing’s wrong.”

“Are you sure. You’ve been really distant from me lately. I’m starting to worry.”

“It’s nothing, I’m just thinking of college. You know how stressful that can get.”

“Yeah, but I feel it’s something else. You’re not telling me something.”

“Sayori it’s nothing, really. I just have a lot on my mind. Dealing with school and so on.”

“I don’t know, Kaoru. I know when someone’s trying to hide something from me. And I think you are.”

“Sayori, I’m not hiding anything. I’m just worried right now. Don’t worry, I tell you everything and anything.” That’s my lie I tell her every other day.

“Okay, I believe.” She pecks my cheek, “Kaoru?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I tell you a secret I’ve been holding?”

“Of course you can. What is it?”

“It’s just that … I … um, I’m starting to love you.”

“Huh?” I said in shock.

“I love you, Kaoru.”

I stuttered and my eyes were as wide as they can go, “I … I … lo … Thank you.”

****

“Dude! Why would you say ‘Thank you’? Are you an idiot?” Toshiya exclaimed.

All three of us were at the beach, “I couldn’t say it back.”

“Does that mean you don’t love her then?” Shinya asked.

“I … do. But not in that way.”

“What way do you love her? Kaoru, I told you if you didn’t like her you can break up with her.” Toshiya said.

“I …”

“You what? We understand if you don’t like her. It’s your decision not ours. We’ll just find you another girl to play with.”

“Play with a girl? Why are you so inconsiderate Toshiya?” Shinya asked.

“Who says I’m being inconsiderate. Can’t a buddy want his buddy to lose his virginity before college?”

“You should respect women, and your friends Toshiya. But anyway, you haven’t told us who she is. Who is it? Who’s the girl? How was it???”

“I’m not telling you yet.”

“Is it some loose girl?” I asked glad that the conversation was steered away. I still needed Sayori. She was a great mask to wear.

“No! It definitely isn’t. You’ll just have to find out at the end of the year. You’d probably find it pretty shocking.” Toshiya said, “And I have to tell ya, you two are missing out on some good fun.”

And so the perverted discussion prolonged until sunset.

****

I waited, throwing any imagery of Kyo’s plans. I was so sure that he really didn’t want anything else but knowledge and good study habits from me. I was certain of it because I was able to convince myself to believe it. So after every homework nights, I’d go straight to my plans for AP Chemistry Tutoring: Kyo. I anticipated nothing, so I had a pretty easy-going week. It came by fast though, and I knew it did. I even think that I counted the weeks down; unconsciously that is.

Ah, but it was Monday, first day of our tutoring sessions. What surprises will lie ahead?

Misconceiving Chapter 3: Kyo

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 06:39:56 GMT

Title: Misconceiving
Author: Me
Pairings: Kaoru/Shinya Kaoru/Kyo Toshiya/Die(?)
Chapter Rating: PG
Rating: NC-17
Summary: I was tempted to follow him. I wanted to experience the love of a man. But I knew he’d just dump me at my doorstep after he’s done. But he was the only one I can touch in so many ways. He was there for my pleasure. But what if it leaks out? I can’t take the chance.
Warning:: Much angst
NOTE: Sorry about my past and present tense problems. I still have trouble sticking to one, hehe. And feel free to tell me any mistakes I've done. I just skim through to get the obvious mistakes. Enjoy.

It was now senior year. All the dreadful feelings still attached as I went to my classes the first week, my girlfriend right behind me. Toshiya and Shinya always teasing me at how happy I’ve become since I got with Sayori. My demon was still trudging a path right along side with my shadow.

Not a lot had change for that matter actually. People were still sleeping around, no one cared about school, expect those geeks who were always carrying books. But I did notice Die walking alone with no Kyo in sight. Even if they had no classes with each other, they’d find one way or another to stay together for as long as they can. It really was odd.

****

Everyone surpassed the fact that they were the most open gay couple in the school and saw a couple really in love. A couple that is in love and ready to cause trouble everywhere they went. They were the couple that had sex anyway at anytime, in front of anyone. They were crazy, but people enjoyed seeing how much they loved each other.

Of course, Kyo had a past history to him. He was the player of the school. He’d play one boy after the other. After he’s caught one in his net of horny, he’d quickly hit it and quit it. He had nothing to do with them after he was done satisfying his needs. It was a shock to everyone when they found out Die and Kyo lasted even a week. It was a big step for him, but he seemed to enjoy it.

But still, Kyo was also always so cruel to his partners. He’d reel them in, tease them, making them beg for more of his attention, and once their pants were off, it was definitely just a fraud seducing innocent boys.

He not only treated his victims with no respect, he also treated his peers with little manners. Sure he’s gay, but he was a tough motherfucker, and if he wants it his way, then you’d have to go out of your way to make him happy. So you can see, he wasn’t a very loving person, and to have him stay with one person for 3 long years, it’s a big accomplishment for this little man.

Back to Die though. He was alone. He looked tired; maybe he was crying through most of summer. What did Kyo do to him? He talked to no one. It was a sad sight, really.

I was sitting at a bench waiting for Toshiya and Shinya when Die turned a corner but only running into Kyo himself. He looked up through his hair, but after seeing Kyo’s face, his expression quickly turned into a fire red ball ready to explode. But he kept his cool and kept walking. Kyo seemed to be mad also, but not as angry as Die. Whatever happened between those two, it didn’t seem as if they’ll ever forgive each other.

That was the day when it all started. My frequent days with Kyo. I don’t know if I should regret it now, or embrace the experience he’s given me. Either way, I felt horrible for doing everything with him. So I’m guessing, I regret it but I thank him for it.

Hiding my sexuality was becoming more complicated and Kyo just happened to appear right by my side. At first, he was my savior. But as it progressed, everything seem to go wrong.

I continued to sit where I was staring at Kyo expressing his anger. He was swearing nonstop and socking the walls with his fist, not caring if it hurt or not. If this is Kyo angry, I wonder what Die is acting like right at that moment.

He remained sitting along side the walls of a classroom apparently contemplating his fight with Die. From the looks of it, they have broken up for good. There’s no more making out in class, no more sex in … anywhere.

Toshiya and Shinya were taking longer than usual, and without me noticing, I continued to stare. It could have been a good 10 minutes before I realized that Kyo was staring right back at me. So, our eyes met for a moment. I turned away quickly to check my watch. 3:15 PM, we’re late for our class meeting.

Kyo walked over. Striding his way towards me to start our relationship, but not really a relationship. He sits, he smiles, he’s concentrated on my face.

“Kaoru, is something wrong?”

“Um, no. Why?”

“No reason. You’ve seen really down in the dumps lately.” I’ve been so careful not to show my depression to anyone, how can Kyo detect it so easily?

“I’m fine. I’m just bummed about chemistry. That teacher is a bitch.”

“Tell me about it.” There was a long pause. But after a few minutes he spoke up again. “So are you sure you’re not hiding anything?”

“I’m not hiding anything. Where’d you get that idea?”

“Well, you make it so obvious. I see you stare at me and,” he stopped but persisted, “and Die.”

“I only stare because of how much you two annoy the crap out of me. I can’t help but stare at how disgusting people slobber over each other.”

“Right. So when you caught us in the band room a few months back, and focused on me pleasuring … Die, you were disgusted? So disgusted you went to the restroom to release all your anger?”

“H-how’d you know I was there?!”

“We heard you when you entered. Saw your hair swaying behind the wall. You should learn how to hide, Kaoru. If you want to be a pervert, then you need to learn first. Anyway, I know how you felt when you saw us. You wanted it.”

“I was just curious to see what you guys would do! I just wanted to answer my question of how gays have sex is all. It was nothing. I felt nothing.”

“Anyway, I bet you saw the penetrating death glare Die gave me. We’re not together anymore. If you want any favors from me. Just come over, I’ll be there with open legs … I mean arms.” He smiled, getting up knowing too well that his behavior 3 years back will come back and haunt anyone he sets his mind too.

I watched him enter his class for detention. Was he the answer to my secrets? Is he the one to help me release any stress and frustration I had?

****

I waited another good 10 minutes before Kyo walked out. He looked over to me and smiled again. He leaves school campus and leaves me, still waiting for Shinya and Toshiya. I was tempted to follow him. I wanted to experience the love of a man. But I knew he’d just dump me at my doorstep after he’s done. But he was the only one I can touch in so many ways. He was there for my pleasure. But what if it leaks out? I can’t take the chance.

****

“Why were you guys late?” I ask Toshiya over the phone.

“Sorry! The teachers caught us writing on the table. She kept on lecturing us on how we should have school pride or whatever. Did you wait long?”

“Yes! I was bored out of my mind.”

“Sorry … what time did you leave?”

“Like around 4. Even Kyo came and bothered me. You owe me.”

“Kyo? I never knew you two talk.”

“We know each others names - that’s about it.”

“Really? … Hey Kaoru, um, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah sure.”

“Well … you and Sayori. She seems happy.”

“Of course she is, why wouldn’t she be?”

“Well, you don’t seem happy.”

“What do you mean I don’t seem happy? I’m ecstatic to be with her.”

“But I’ve seen how you are when you’re with her. It’s seems like you don’t want to be there. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah it’s fine. I like Sayori a lot, as much as she likes me. You don’t have to worry.”

“Oh okay, I was just making sure. But I understand if you don‘t like her anymore. I mean I hope you don‘t feel obligated to dating her. It’s okay if you break up with her. Pssh, she’s getting on my nerves, anyway.”

“Ha-ha … yeah. That’s my girlfriend you’re talking about.”

****

It was already 2 weeks into school and already I felt like I was behind in class. Don’t get me wrong, I was a smart student, still am, but I was lazy beyond repair. I was tired of all the lectures and babbling about who killed who, what caused what, who hates you. I already know the world’s fucked up, I don’t need someone telling me useless information.

And about Calculus. Why the fuck do I need that? Even as I’m telling you this story, I don’t see why I need Calculus to explain my past life. It’s just useless junk. If at any point I turn this story into some kind or form of a math equation, I’ll go slap myself across the face until I see stars and birds. I had great hatred for math, and I still do.

Beside my overly lazy ass getting nowhere, I didn’t have anyone to call a ‘stable’ friend. There was only the occasional his and byes, little chit-chats here and there, but that’s it. I wanted friends of my own besides Totchi and Shinya. They’re great, but I needed some alone time away from them..

My feelings towards those two haven’t changed too drastically however. I still had that anxiety feeling of being a trespasser. You might not understand, but when I watched them laughing at their jokes together while I sat on the sidelines, I just couldn’t help but exclude from anything they both shared. I didn’t want to ruin any of their fun. All this negative feelings, though, increased much higher, and soon, I desperately wanted human contact from anyone else. Someone I can blurt to every single thought I had. But I didn’t have anyone. So it was just me, myself, and I.

It was my senior, and I thought to myself, It’s the last year of high school. If everyone else is having fun, then I should too. Encouraging myself everyday, I put more effort to making friends and actually studying. But I still was lazy beyond repair. I sighed, At least I’m trying.

That trying helped by the way. My grade boosted up to my liking. But, I had great difficulty getting into a studying routine. I mean, I did have to think about my future also right?

To continue on with my rant, I had to hide my true identity from my mother. I loved her so much, but all I gave her were excuses to avoid any subject that was relevant to myself. I felt horrible to leave her out of my life at such a time, but at the time, I thought she wouldn’t have been able to handle it.

On top of that note, I hadn’t seen my father since I was 9 years old. He was a bastard, who left me and my mother behind to struggle through the house mortgage and whatnots. He dropped by the first two years, but I’m guessing his new wife was keeping him away from his past life. He made my mother cry for two straight months, and for that I despise the man. He’s nothing but bullshit; nothing more.

All the while, my thoughts remained on the one person that knew my enigma. Kyo was willing to help - not in every way, but he was willing to help either way. He was the only one to turn to, he was the only one I can trust in some ways.

Misconceiving Chapter 2: Happiest Summer

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 05:38:44 GMT

Title: Misconceiving
Author: Me
Pairings: Kaoru/Kyo Kaoru/Shinya Toshiya/Die
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Rating: NC-17
Summary: I didn’t want to admit it. To admit it was to accept it. And I was far from accepting what kind of change would occur. That road led me to do stupid things, leading me to stupid people who were troubled, but was more like me or far worst than me.
NOTE: Please tell me if I should continue this chapter fic. I'm not sure myself if this is interesting enough to continue. So if you like it just say the words ... =D

After a day of lunch out at the rock ledge near the beach, we headed for class; me and Shinya in History, and Toshiya in Physical Education. Shinya sat across the room from me where we would send hand signals to talk. But today, my mind wondered off to moments of times when Toshiya, Shinya, and myself played out on the beach during carefree days. We would go everyday to catch the sunset. And on weekends, we’d forget the morning cartoon shows and head straight for the beach looking at the sunrise. It might sound strange reading about three boys looking at the sunrise and sunset together, but it was normal to us, and we wouldn’t have done it with any other persons.

All we ever did together was laugh uncontrollably. We would hunt for crabs and chuck them out into the open sea. I even got a lost baby lobster to pinch my finger. Little did I know that it would hurt like a bitch. The other two panicked but stayed trying to pry the lobster off. They grabbed a rock near by, and with their tiny arms, they smashed the poor thing including my numb finger. Shinya, not thinking at all from the excitement, cupped his hands to scoop up some salt water to splash onto my bloody limb.

Those were memories I treasured and held dear to me. So why should I be rethinking about this friendship. Sure, I felt like an invader, but our chit-chat made it all better. Didn’t it? I worried as I thought more.

That wasn’t the only thought that was in my mind though. I had many. They were leeching off of my blood, and I couldn’t get rid of it. Whatever it was, nonetheless, it caught my attention, and I was soon going to find out. But not now. Not when I’m still thinking of how much fun we had when we were kids up until now.

Another flashback came to my mind while the teacher was preaching to us about some guy in a black robe. I was thinking back to the time when me and Shinya were waiting for Toshiya at my house. My mother invited them to have dinner that night. So, it was just me and Shinya sitting on my bed watching television. I looked over to him and saw a yawn erupting. He’s getting bored.

I didn’t know what it was, there was never a scientific explanation behind it, but soon after Shinya yawned, I yawned too; always happens. I laid myself on my bed with my arms wrapped around my head. I kept my gazed glued on Shinya’s spine. The room stayed still. Somehow it felt awkward, but I don’t think Shinya felt uneasy at all. He yawned again and he also laid down on the bed, right beside me. So you can picture it, we were pretty close.

My stomach was in knots, but I tried to keep my cool. My fingers behind my head were beginning to twitch from the proximity that was between me and Shinya. Why the hell do I feel so weird?

The doorbells rings, it’s Totchi. I quickly disperse anything odd thoughts that began forming.

“Dinner’s ready! I’ll get the door.”

We headed down the stairs. But suddenly, I see water rising rapidly up the stairs. It began climbing the first step, then the second, next thing you know it was on the 8 step where I stood. My first thoughts weren’t even of my mother, Toshiya, or Shinya. My mind suddenly skipped the tragic scene and entered a curiosity state. I took a step down and found a huge seashell floating across my living room. I jumped into the water and turned the abnormal sized object around to find a Shinya in nothing. He had on such a seductive look to him, it was so enticing. I reached out my hand to touch his unmentionables, but before I could make contact, my teacher whacked a ruler right in my face waking me up from the wettest dream I ever had. I had hope the class didn’t see anything out of place.

Was this the strange feeling I’ve been having? It was strange, but it would fit my question wouldn’t it?

Putting great effort into it, I acted as if nothing had happen, and so we continued our daily life.

I started to take notice of a gay couple in our school, though. They’ve always been there, but now, they were more noteworthy than before. It was disgusting how lovey dovey they got. They didn’t even care if teachers saw. It was hard to figure out who’s tongue was who’s. These two boys, you would think they were innocent at first glance. Well, maybe only one of them.

The teachers didn’t like it one bit. Seeing as how the world is so close-minded, most teachers saw it as something disgusting and beyond words, the boys were demon worshippers, or they were just insane teenagers seeking for attention and they belonged in the insane asylum. But they couldn’t do anything. It was a free world, and if kids now-a-days felt like making out with the same sex, then so be it.

They were Kyo and Die; together for 3 years now. This year was their third. I watched them as they made their way through the hallway holding hands like a couple of school … boys. I was intrigued about how they came to be that way. I wanted to ask questions, but asking question was to … was to admit it. No, no, no. There was nothing to admit. I was eating way too much candy.

*****

The year was ending quickly and with the days passing, my supernatural feelings blossomed into something I was afraid of. It was confirmed when I walked into the band room to retrieve a friend. Kyo and Die, in the middle of love making. I couldn’t move an itch. I was glued to the spot as Kyo knelt down between Die’s legs to tease the entrance. I stared; gawked, at the new image. It was beautiful and I wanted that. It was delicious, and I wanted to eat it. It was enduring, and I wanted more.

I continued to stare until they were done doing the deed. How many times they did it was a puzzle waiting to be solved. I bet they’ve done it billions of times; on school campus that is. They had their backs facing me and it was my chance to run away quickly. I proceeded my way to the boys room and hurriedly locked the bathroom stall. I unzipped to pump the awaiting member. It felt damn good to release after what I’ve seen. It was spectacular.

I was done so I hastily washed my hands and went out to dawdle back home.

I laid on my bed recapping that day’s event. How come I got turned on by two boys fucking? It wasn’t something I was suppose to be doing. It’s the ladies I want. The type that has nice round boobs for me to feel up on. Not balls and assholes. What the hell is wrong with me?

As much as I denied and fought that feeling, it was always there. It whispers in my ear every night before I say ‘good night’ to my mother. It laid right beside me on my bed before I close my eyes to fall asleep only to wake up to it.

I look in the mirror the next morning. I wanted to shout and scream and cry, but I couldn’t. It’ll give out too much information; enough for everyone to find out my secret.

I kept that secret inside for almost a year after that incident. Not a lot happened over the summer however. I kept that leech inside and put on a happy face every time I went out for ice cream. The occasional run-in with Kyo and Die wasn’t helping, on the other hand. It seems that their love-making just increased to a daily routine. Every time I saw them, my mind wonders to that affair. There goes my dick responding to the trouble-causing couple. Even Shinya and Toshiya noticed my antsy attitude towards those two.

“Why are they making you flinch so much Kaoru?” Toshiya asked.

“They who?”

“Die and Kyo, of course. You look at them with those beady eyes of yours.”

“Be quiet Toshiya, your eyes aren’t so great either.”

“Bigger than yours. But that’s not we’re talking about. You stare at those two a lot in Chemistry. What’s up? They stealing your lunch money?”

“No. I just don’t … like how they … are so touchy in public. It’s annoying the hell out of me.”

“If they annoy you, then why are you staring at them so much?” interrupted Shinya.

“Quiet. It’s nothing. I’ll stop staring. I was just wondering how they’re able to do that in public.”

“Aha! I know why now!” Said Toshiya.

“Oh? Why Toshiya?” Ask Shinya.

“Kaoru’s jealous! He wants a girlfriend to cuddle with. How cute~!”

“Is that true, Kaoru?”

“NO, it isn’t. I don’t need a girl, I have myself.”

“Whoa~, too much information.”

I wanted to tell them everything! But I can’t. It’s not something I can just blurt out. It’s harder than you think it is. I mean to admit such a controversial exploit is absurd! I couldn’t even accept myself at the time. I just had to play along as Toshiya and Shinya introduced me to a friend of theirs. I undeniably had no interest in her at all. But I kept her, only to hide my monster.

“Kaoru, this is Sayori. Sayori, this is our buddy, Kaoru.” Toshiya introduced us.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” she said with an innocent tone. It only made it more challenging to use her. She was a sweet girl. But I had no choice if I didn’t want to step out of the closest just yet.

“Hey. It’s good to meet you. Toshiya’s told me a lot about you. I heard you like swimming; wanna teach me?” I said hinting that I’m being flirtatious. Apparently, she liked it. Great, my plan worked. She’s fell for me and now we’re walking through the halls together, all lovey dovey, like Kyo and Die.

I had it all bottled up. It was my personal demon and I wanted to get rid of it; make someone else suffer.

I had a list of problems to add to that. My classes were giving me a headache. Math isn’t my thing and as my test scores became lower, my class grade turned from a B to an F. I became lazy throughout the school year. I had my social life crash down to the ground. The only real friends I had were the two Siamese twins. I felt as if I was unneeded.

I didn’t do anything physical to help my body. Except, you know, what ever teenage boy does. But that’s not the point. I was a year away from graduating and I’m slacking off.

And my girlfriend. It has been too long since I started to deceive her. I felt horrible at the thought of her face as I told her that I was gay, and all this time I never really liked her that way. Everything we did; kissing, holding hands, eating, it was all an act to hide myself from the world. The only thing I was able to do was hope she would forgive me for taking away precious months of her life. Months might not seem long, but it is forever to teenage couples.

That was the definition of my summer; worries, worries, and more worries. I was left alone to confine in myself. I couldn’t do anything but keep a guise on to show absolutely nothing was wrong with me. I was left to watch Kyo and Die enjoy their freedom while I’m trapped in a cage. They weren’t always happy, but I saw many smiles and laughter during the first few weeks of summer. Oh, how I wished to be them. To be apart of them. But I couldn’t! How would Shinya and Toshiya react? They’ll never want to have a gay hanging around them; NEVER.

*****

Misconceiving - Chapter 1: Introduction

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 02:38:42 GMT

Title: Misconceiving
Author: Me
Pairings: Kaoru/Kyo Kaoru/Shinya Toshiya/Die
Chapter Rating: G
Rating: NC-17
Summary: I didn’t want to admit it. To admit it was to accept it. And I was far from accepting what kind of change would occur. That road led me to do stupid things, leading me to stupid people who were troubled, but was more like me or far worst than me.
NOTE: Please tell me if I should continue this chapter fic. I'm not sure myself if this is interesting enough to continue. So if you like it just say the words ... =D

I sat on the beach looking over the horizon where the sunset laid. I was about 7 years old and had no idea that what was in front of me was a scene of pure beauty; although, everything was fairly new to me. I have never been to the beach and I was somewhat excited to explore and to seek new friends. I was about ready to greet anyone and anything that moved to take my mind off of my homesickness, but noticed that all around me were couples either holding hands or are engaged in something a little 7 year old shouldn’t be seeing.

I wondered about the beach kicking the sand out into the endless sea. I was getting lonely. My friends back home were probably missing me as they told me they would, because I sure missed them. Yeah, the beach was fun, but what fun will last when you’re all alone?

I continued walking down the bay, running away from the waves as it threatened to soak my bare feet. Me keeping my head up to find any visible sign of another child my age wasn’t doing any good. None were to be seen except a couple clearly in the stage of lust, granted, I didn’t understand what it was at the time, so I continued staring.

I trotted down the street entering an alley way, a shortcut to home, to return to my room and ponder about my new life. I was reasonably quiet for a normal 7 year old. But I got along with anyone and made many friends if I felt like it. But when my parents announced I will be living right on the beach, as in the beach is my backyard, I didn’t feel much excitement build up. I just thought of it as leaving my friends forever and I’ll never be able to see them again. I didn’t believe a word when my parents told me we’d visit, because we never visited my grandparents when they use to live right down the street.

“I’m home!” I said coming through the back door where my mother was cooking dinner in the kitchen.

“How was the beach? Did you meet anyone?”

“No. You sure they’re kids around here too? I only saw old people kissing. Yuck.”

“Hahaha, I’m sure they’re somewhere around here,” My mother said scuffling my hair, “It’s a school night; they’re probably at home studying. Why don’t you go up to your room and get cleaned up? Dinner will be ready in a few.”

“Okay.” I lumbered off.

At last, I finally got on the very top of the stairs already starting my way towards my bedroom. My clothing, toys, and any other accessories were still packed. I walked towards my bed to discover brand new school supplies waiting for me. I signed, thinking, I’ll have to face new teachers all alone, I have to try to get new friends all over again, and wondered if I’ll fit in with anyone or not. I sat there, on the bed, contemplating my tactics on how to make new friends quick. There’s no time to become lonely, because with my plans, I’ll have guys and girls following me left to right.

“Dinner’s ready!”

I had completely forgotten about dinner, so I rushed over to the restroom to wash my hands and headed for the dining room. Both my parents were sitting at the table waiting for me patiently. They had a look on them which I did not understand. It was somewhere along the lines of, ‘I’m angry, don’t touch me or I‘ll kill you,’ or ‘What are we going to do?’ In simple terms, they looked angry, yet their eyes filled with worry and concern. I was getting scared. My mom seemed fine when I came back home just a few minutes ago

“Have a seat, son. Your mother and I need to talk to you.” My father’s tone seemed to be strained.

I walked towards the dinner table and took my seat. I thought I did something wrong. I mean I did ask them to go to the beach alone and they did say yes.

My father was beginning to speak, but only got as far as opening his mouth. He lit a cigarette and took a long deep drag before turning to me and began his short speech.

“Son, your mother and I … well, we agreed we should live separately for a while.”

“Separately?” I said quizzically.

My father gave my mother a quick look, and turned to me. He appeared to be thinking, “Yes. I have a new job, and uh, I need to live in a different house for a little while. I won‘t be around as much. I promise to visit every weekend and bring you new video games. Are you okay with that?”

“You mean you’re going to bring me video games every weekend?”

“Sure does.”

“And you’re not gona be gone too long are you?”

“Of course not, just for a … a month.”

“Then I’m okay with everything!”

“Good, good; glad you are,” a short silent pause, “Well, lets have dinner then.”

I sheepishly walked back to my chair after hugging my dad, and began eating my spaghetti dinner. I glanced up at my mom and gave her a small smile. But I noticed, I noticed that before she returned that smile, she was frowning. I was too young and naïve to pay any attention to her though; my mind was clearly on what games I should ask my dad to buy.

After about an hour of watching television in a tense living room, my parents sent me off to wash up for bed. It was still early, but I didn’t protest afraid my dad would change his mind about my video games. I ascended the stairs slowly, full from all the spaghetti I ate and over heard my parents talking with me still on the steps. I didn’t stop to listen but heard a few words coming out of my mom.

“… leaving for a job and not for good?” I ignored it and went off to bed.

******

The next morning was my first day of school. Finally I was able to see my own kind. But I felt something missing and couldn’t quite put my finger on it. In any case, since it does the first day of school why not ignore it, right? And just enjoy what would lie ahead.
I went downstairs to the scent of pancakes and my mother singing her famous lullaby that she sang for me when I was only a baby.

She turns around and gives me a heart-warming smile. “Are you ready? I’m so excited!”

“Mom, what if no one likes me?”

“Oh they will. They’re suckers if they don’t like you.”

“Is dad picking me up today?”

“He’s … he’s gone to work already. He told me to tell you that he’s sorry for not saying good-bye. He didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Are you going to pick me up then?”

“I’d love too. Come sit down. I made your favorite.”

“Mmm mom, this is really good! By the way, what’s dad’s new job?”

“New job? It’s … he’s … he’s going to talk to people and get them to do anything he wants.”
“Really? You mean he’s the boss of everyone?”

“Yeah, you can say that.”

“Cool! I’m ready mom, let’s go to school!”

“Let’s go!”

We began walking to school; which was down the street from my house. I was eager to step inside and put my plans into action because I knew they would work.

After my mother gave me a good-bye kiss on the forehead, I headed straight to my classroom to get a head-start with meeting my teacher. All along the walls were painting made by all the kids there. I remember thinking to myself how well-done they were compared with my drawings. I always had trouble drawing. I was getting nervous, What if they hate my drawing?

I got to room 17 at the very end of the hall and peeked through the open door.

I entered, “H-hello?”

“Ah, yes?”

“H-hi, I’m new here a-and my name is Niikura Kaoru. I brought you an apple.”

“I was expecting you. Nice to meet you, Kaoru. Thank you for the apple. Um, why don’t you leave your stuff here and get acquainted with your classmates outside. I need to prepare today’s lesson.”

“Okay, Teacher …”

“Teacher Deja.” She gave me a sincere smile and continued sorting papers.

I directed my body to face the playground and commenced walking towards the double door. That moment was to put my plan into action. At that time, I thought it was the cleverest thing I’ve ever thought up, but thinking about it now, I just feel pathetic.

Anyway, I stretched out my arms to open both the doors at the same time, and took notice of all the kids surrounding the playground. A girl at one side was jump-roping, another girl was playing hopscotch, and a boy near the gate entrance was playing with marbles.

I put on my ‘cool’ face and walked down the steps with calm, collected, and well-practiced strides. I had in my pocket a pair of sunglasses and once I reached the center of the blacktop, where ever kid surrounded it, I pulled them out; more like whipped them out, and placed them on my face hoping that’ll attract enough attention. I stood with my hands on my hip and looked around to see if anyone was aware of me. I had a huge smirk placed upon my face. And as I turn to see kids stare back, I gave them a nod to show I noticed their presence. There were a few who kept staring, but they all thought I was weird judging by the looks on their faces. Obviously, they didn’t know what cool was.

I was starting to get embarrassed when a couple of school boys walked towards me. They said their hellos and introduced themselves.

“Hi. Nice sunglasses. My name’s Toshiya and this is Shinya.”

“Hi,” Shinya said bashfully.

“Hi I’m Kaoru. I’m new here.”

“Oh, we thought you were. We never saw you around before. Where are you from?”

“I’m from the country-side. It’s far away from here.”

“Cool. Err, since you’re new, do you want us to show you around?”

“Really? This isn’t a mean joke is it?”

“Of course not! Shinya and I are known to be the kindest kids here.”

“Great,” the bell rings, “Let’s go inside. Do you have Teacher Deja?”

“Yeah we do. That’s even better! You’ll like her, she’s really nice.”

How lucky was I to have met two friends so fast? I always wondered, though, if it was the cool whip of my sunglasses that drawn them to me. Anyhow, the more I stayed around with the pair, the more I noticed how attached they were to one another; always eating together, playing together, studying with each other, but I had no choice but to parade on their friendship. Apparently, my sunglasses trick didn’t work with other students.

A few months into school, I quickly became good friends with Toshiya and Shinya. I picked up on some of their habits and happily accepted some changes that occurred. I was more open - actually, only around them, and I was more attentive in class. But the more our friendship grew into the upcoming year or the years after, I somehow became quite envious of how Shinya and Toshiya were always together. I mean I was always with them too, but they seem to have the special bond that I can never join. I knew they were friends since birth, but I felt like I was an intrusion and I shouldn’t have been there. I kept quiet though; unsure that I might ruin anything they had or lose the greatest friends I ever had since I moved there. After all, I’ve become one of their best friends as they pointed it out.

******

Many years had past and our friendship just grew stronger every time. They seem to talk about feelings quite a bit, and they got me to tell a bit of the truth. Even though I enjoyed every moment I’m with them, I always felt I was a bother on their friendship. If you ever saw them, they were like Siamese twins, always conjoined by the heart. And their non-stop talking and babbling made me feel I didn’t have much in common with any of them, yet, I do. Yes, there were times when all three of us were chattering away, actually many times, but entering high school made it seem more significant that my friendship with them was beginning to become quite a jealous friendship.

It was lunch in our junior year of high school and we decided to eat out. As we passed the proctors, we flashed our ID cards to prove we have permission to eat out, and left for a local fast food restaurant. After ordering and a bit of gibberish talking, Toshiya and Shinya made a decision to confront my exclusiveness. I wasn’t expecting it, but they were the kind that would share their feelings in anything; opinions on food, school, war, friends, or girls. But that was my chance to tell them some of the truth right? Might as well tell them to make my life a little easier. I mean at that moment, I had so much up my sleeve. The two Siamese twins knew half of it, but not the whole story.

“Why have you been so quietly lately, Kaoru?” Toshiya asked.

“What do you mean quiet?” I asked, trying to act dumb.

“You know what we’re talking about stupid.” Shinya said.

“You’ve looked irritated and annoyed and sad and grumpy and …” Toshiya began.

“Oh. Because of that damn test in math. I got a freaking C-. Damn teacher.”

“Liar! I thought we were best friends here. You know we can always confine in each other.”

I sighed, “My reason for being very reclusive from you guys, is just that I’m … I’m jealous? More like, I feel like an intrusion.” I didn’t want to tell them any more. I just stopped it where it should be stopped before I blurted anything stupid.

“That’s it? We’re all friends! We include you in everything!” said Toshiya sounding sorry, but trying to convince me. He went unnoticed of my unfinished story, “But why do you become so quiet, why don’t you just try to include yourself then?”

“I don’t know. I just feel as if I’m disturbing the friendship between you and Shinya. So I just keep back, and let you guys have your time.”

“That’s so stupid, Kaoru. Huy, don’t worry. We’re glad you’re here with us. It would’ve sucked if we had never met you.”

“Yeah, who would I wrestle with when I’m bored?” said Shinya.

“Toshiya?” I replied.

“Toshiya’s a wimp, I can beat him anytime. You’re more of a challenge.” Shinya leered. “I might be a twig, but Toshiya's a sissy.”

After that conversation, I felt like a piece of my load was off. I did include myself more, but there was that feeling again and I couldn’t get rid of it. It was trudging on my life so casually, that by the time I reached 2nd semester high school, I realized what that feeling was but I didn’t want to admit it. To admit it was to accept it. And I was far from accepting what kind of change would occur. That road led me to do stupid things, leading me to stupid people who were troubled, but was more like me or far worst than me.

Thu, 17 May 2007 05:26:11 GMT

Title: Toshiya's Pleasure
Chapters: 6/?
Author: An_Infection
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: ToshiyaXEVERYONE-Die
Summary: He needed it out and it needed out now!
BETA: havenofthewolf
Comments: THANKS havenofthewolf for tolerating my past tense and present tense problem =D
still new with sex scenes, and this seems to be a very extended sex scene. I guess i have a big imagination for a newcomer =D
Also, I've forgotten to add Shinya and Kaoru getting dress and untying Toshiya. Sorry about that, but try your best to input that yourself =D I was just in a hurry to post my longest sex scene.

Yet again, Shinya was alone in a dark room with a cover over him. He tried his best to keep calm, but the more he thought about his friends’ actions, the more angry and confused he became. Flashes of men in nothing but boxers came vividly into his mind, and slowly and very excruciatingly, the image of the man taking off his pants, jutting out his hips, and swaying them side to side to show Shinya what he was missing. Gradually, the image of the faceless man turned into Toshiya with a wide smile. GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Anything that Shinya did, Toshiya was there in his mind, mocking him. Thoughts of beautiful naked ladies all turned to Toshiya and him thrusting his hips to show Shinya, once again, his more-than-average-size penis. He was mad, not just mad because of his thoughts, but at Toshiya.

Next stop his brain took him was Kaoru, who was also nude. The out-of character image Shinya pictured gave him chills and goose bumps because what he imagined was Kaoru riding on a horse, bare-naked and free-willed. It troubled him greatly that his mind wondered into such things, but he couldn’t stop it! He couldn’t stop but feel his arousal peeking through. He hated that, and he wanted it to stop, but it kept growing and growing, and that’s when he snapped. Ima fuck the shit outta him! I’ll fucking break his ass without even touching that bitch!

Angrily, but steadily, Shinya walked back to where his band-mates sat. And of course, the paired off men were Kyo and Toshiya, and Kaoru and Die - without a blanket. A calmed expression was forced onto Shinya’s face. He stepped inside and walked over to Kaoru, stretched his hands out and waited patiently for Kaoru to grab on. After a few moments of confusion, Kaoru extended his arm and took a hold of Shinya’s long and slender fingers as everyone stared. Shinya pulled him out back to where he had entered and hurried his pace to the room he was bunking in.

He sat Kaoru down on a chair while he stood over him with significance hidden behind his eyes. He remained hovering over Kaoru for what seemed like hours. Kaoru was beyond his confusion, and stared back at the wild looking Shinya. He had never seen him with such a stare and it frightened him to some point.

Shinya made a quick move towards Kaoru, making the leader contract but not being able to go anywhere but the chair. Shinya stopped after seeing Kaoru’s reflexes and smirked at how scared the man became. Shinya marched forward until his legs were touching Kaoru’s. He leaned over and kissed him gently as possible so he wouldn’t frighten the man any further. It was like the kiss was nonexistent. He backed away to see Kaoru’s full face, but not far enough to stop the contact with Kaoru’s breathe and his own. Shinya looked into Kaoru’s eyes and another smirk developed. He, then, gave another kiss, but rougher than the last and took his time to enjoy Kaoru’s lips. He backed away to start kissing his jaw line leading his way to Kaoru’s earlobe.

Kaoru’s mind was nowhere on Earth. He was so in shock that what he thought was happening was only a dream and nothing more. He wished his erection would go away, because when he woke up, what would he explain to Die and them? He snapped out of his trance and returned to Earth when Shinya spoke in a whisper.

“Do you want to play, Kaoru?”

“…”

“I said, do you want to play?”

“A-are you okay, Shinya?”

“I’m great, and you?”

“I think you should go rest. I don’t think you’re feeling too well.”

“I’m feeling fine, Kaoru; great for that matter. But you haven’t answered my question, do you want to play?”

“P-play what?”

“It’s a game I just made up. It’s called, ‘Break the Totchi.’ Does that sound like fun?”

“What do you mean ‘Break the Totchi‘?”

“Here’s how it works: We bring Toshiya in here and tie him up; tie it tight enough so he’ll scream out of pain. Then,” Shinya paused to kiss Kaoru’s earlobe, “I fuck you right in his face. I’ll fuck you until you scream for the others to hear; until I hear my name and make Toshiya want me on every inch of his body; until he begs me to pleasure his tight little ass like I‘ll do you. Fun?”

Kaoru’s eyes were wide with astonishment, “Why do you want to do that!?”

“’Cause he’s the one who caused this!”

“Caused what exactly?”

“My need to fuck men.”

“Oh …”

“So Kaoru, do you want to play? I promise to be gentle since it’s your first time,” a short moment of thinking, “Actually, isn’t that what Toshiya said earlier to you? But I’m not lying; I’ll take it … nice … and … slow …”

Shinya pulled back from Kaoru’s earlobe and went back to his lips. He kissed his lips with more passion and turned around to go get his trusty rope tucked away in a cupboard. He knew he’d have a purpose for it someday, and now that someday was this day.

“Y-you’re using me to get Toshiya jealous?”

“Using you? No, because you’re as new to this is I am, except I won’t be the one having my ass stretched. And, you’re nothing but a horny teenage man when you’re scared, I find that extremely arousing.”

Shinya found what he needed and placed it gently on Kaoru. “Take this and hide behind the door while I get Toshiya. Once I have him seated, you come around him and tie him to the chair as quickly as you can, and make sure it’s tight.” He parted Kaoru with those words and went to fetch Toshiya.

For the hundredth time that day, Shinya walked into the equipment room intending to leave right after.

“Where’s Kaoru?” Die asked. Shinya ignored him.

He stood over Toshiya and again, stretched out an arm for him to grab onto. Hesitantly, Toshiya held on as Shinya pulled him up and guided him to the awaiting room not forgetting to bring a lit candle with him. Hand in hand they walked right into Shinya’s trap. They slowed their pace when they met with the entrance of the room and after entering, closed the door, making sure Toshiya had his back turned to Kaoru.

“I have to talk to you Toshiya, sit down.”

“Are you gona kill me like you did Kaoru?”

Shinya snorted, “No, silly, I just need to talk.”

Without any warnings, Shinya jumped on to Toshiya, legs on both sides of him, and buttocks place confront ably on his thighs. Totchi thought Shinya had come to realize that Totchi was irresistible. Kaoru subtly came behind him and tied his arms back against the chair. Shinya who was now riding the squirming Toshiya, like a horse, kept him down long enough until he saw Kaoru stand up. Shinya walked around to examine the rope and found that Toshiya’s wrist were already irritated and red.

“Hello Toshiya.” Kaoru said.

“What are you guys doing?”

“We’re playing a game,” said Shinya.

“What the hell kind of game is this?”

“A game that only I will enjoy … and Kaoru.”

“Why do I have to be tied up then?”

“Because Toshiya; you need a time-out.”

“A time-out? Have you gone crazy or something?”

“Yeah probably. But don’t get mad, you made me crazy. Kaoru, come here.”

With a bigger bulge exposed, Kaoru stepped forward and stood next to Shinya. The height difference was what made Shinya more dominant, but the body structure was a great difference in which it made Kaoru look like he should be playing the seme. It was a bit odd to see Shinya ordering Kaoru around, especially when he was the leader of the band.

“Thanks to you, Kaoru lost all his innocence. Look at his face, it’s full of empathy yet, you let his innocence float away. But I should thank you, ‘cause I know what you really intended on doing to him. You wanted to fuck him right? Because of his fresh flesh, you want to take that away from him.” Shinya bent over Toshiya, “Ima fuck him right in front of you, and you won’t be able to touch either of us; can’t even touch yourself. Ima make you plea for me to stop fucking Kaoru, just so you can touch yourself for a moment, to relieve yourself. But I’m going to make you wait a very, very long time until I am satisfied.”

Toshiya stared in disbelief at the new Shinya. Did he really anger him that much? “Do you care that much for Kaoru? I thought you were straight!”

“Yeah, yeah I am. Humph, well, obviously, I’m not anymore. But you changed me Toshiya. I’m like everyone else.”

Shinya turned to Kaoru and caressed his triceps, “Are you ready?”

“Uh huh,” Kaoru replied with a nod.

In seconds, hot heavy kisses were lain upon Kaoru as Toshiya watched. Shinya grabbed Kaoru’s shirt, in doing so resulted in little scratches made on his chest. Shinya pulled him in so that nothing was between them but their very annoying clothes.

Toshiya just stared still in awe as Shinya whipped out his tongue and entered Kaoru’s mouth. Unconsciously, Toshiya took out his own tongue to whip it around to feel nothing but cold air. Shinya’s tongue lashed at Kaoru who was trying to get his leader façade back on top. He failed miserably with the trashing of Shinya’s tongue. Mind you, when I use the word thrashing and lashing, it sounds messy, but Shinya’s kisses were nothing but sweet, sexy, full of ‘love‘, and lots of tongue. You can see the tip of his tongue give one last lick to Kaoru’s own tip of the tongue before pulling away.

He turned to Toshiya, “Do you want to get a better view?” Without waiting for an answer, Shinya walked over to untied him from the chair, lifted Toshiya and very carefully pulled him off the chair to lightly push him onto his knees, hands still tied behind his back. He walked back to Kaoru who was trembling head to toe from all the attention he got from the deranged Shinya; not that he didn’t enjoy it, he enjoyed every moment of it.

Shinya tugged Kaoru’s left hand and positioned him in front of the kneeling Toshiya so their crotch’s were right in his face. Very delicately and soothingly, Shinya began undressing Kaoru starting with his shirt. He gave him an open mouth kissed, hands under, touching Kaoru’s oblique with cold hands, before pulling it off, stopping the sexual kiss. Shinya bent his knees slightly to begin sending kisses down Kaoru’s neck and moved down to his bare chest, licking the sweat drops that were forming. He stopped to suck on the rigid nipple, encircling it with his tongue. Before Shinya bit Kaoru’s nipples, he looked up to find Kaoru staring directly at the contact between his own nipple and Shinya’s teeth and tongue. He bit his lip to prevent a squeal escaping his lustful lips.

After Shinya released Kaoru’s nipple from his bite, he immediately licked it to comfort him. Shinya’s tongue moved down to his lower abdomen to have a belly button to play with. While he did that, he unbuttoned Kaoru’s pants, stopping to rub Kaoru’s throbbing bulge before continuing . Kaoru closed his eyes and took a deep breath only to emanate a shaky breath when released.

Again, kisses were continuing their quest until Shinya’s lips were on top of the pulsating muscle. He reached up to unzip the pants and almost immediately, Kaoru’s cock jumped out at him. After seeing the over-grown penis, Shinya pulled off his pants, shoes and socks followed, and then Kaoru’s boxers.

Shinya gawked at the amazing length before him, and turned to Toshiya, “You’re lucky you got this dick first.”

Shinya turned his attention back to Kaoru, who was moving closer, centimeter by centimeter trying to get into contact. Shinya took the hint and gave a light lick to the tip. A few more licks and the head was completely submerged into Shinya’s mouth. He had never done this before, but he knew what a man wanted. He sucked the tip hard before breaking the interaction and lifting Kaoru’s penis to stroke at the base of the cock with his tongue. He arrived at the tip once more and took in the whole throbbing member into his mouth. He gagged just as Toshiya did, but oddly enough, he loved it.

Kaoru was a whole different story. He didn’t only love it, he hated it. He felt his fingers trembling while gripping Shinya’s hair. His knees were about to give way, and moans, groans, and whimpers escaped involuntarily from his mouth. The pleasure he was receiving was something unable to put into words, because of the circulation movements Shinya was sending through his cock. His eyes were tightly shut, but he wanted to see the look at Toshiya’s face and forced them to open.

Toshiya. The worst punishment for a man-whore to experience. He stared with wide eyes open to get every view he could. His mouth was puckering up trying to get closer, but was prohibited by Shinya. Kaoru could see how his erection was begging to be let free, and he kind of felt sorry. But nonetheless, his attention was on the blowjob and nothing more.

Kaoru felt it coming, he was ready. Using hands and mouths, Shinya pumped and sucked harder and before Kaoru released, he turned Kaoru’s dick to Toshiya, who had his mouth slightly open, and let cum be squirted into his mouth. “Don’t swallow, keep it in there.” Toshiya was surprised by the request, but even so, he obeyed.

Shinya continued to pump until every drop of cum was out. He lifted himself off of his knees, gave a quick kiss to the breathless Kaoru, and dropped his pants. Hastily, Shinya thrashed into Toshiya’s mouth, “Coat me.”

Toshiya tried his best not to swallow and began coating Shinya with Kaoru’s cum. Light touches from Toshiya’s mouth made Shinya gasp wanting more forceful contact, but he would soon get his reward. Toshiya was done, and Shinya, once again, turned to Kaoru.

Kaoru, who was still breathless and tired was watching the whole thing, and without noticing, became hard again, and it surprised him. Before any cum slid off of Shinya, he directed Kaoru to stand once more in front of Toshiya and bend over with his back facing him. He followed orders without rethinking and showed his ass to the world. Shinya stuck his middle finger out, got a bit of Kaoru’s cum on his fingers, and nudged Toshiya’s lips to part. Toshiya sucked the cum off and suck on Shinya’s finger. After finishing that drop of cum, Shinya pulled his finger out, and wiped some excess saliva on Kaoru’s untouched flesh. Kaoru had an instinct to move back to feel more and he got what he wanted. It pained him, but Shinya’s finger tip was so soft and gentle that the pain was just part of the pleasure. The finger went in deeper only to be jerked back out. Kaoru sucked in a deep breath at the sudden pain, but wanted more and moved back a little further hoping he’d find what he wanted. Shinya’s fingers did go back inside and it stayed there for a while to get Kaoru comfortable. Slowly and tenderly, he moved his fingers in and out at a very slow pace making Kaoru moan for more. He picked up the pace and Kaoru followed the rhythm with his own body. Without Kaoru noticing, Shinya put in a new finger. Rotating the two fingers to get Kaoru ready, Shinya pulled them back, and before anymore cum dripped off, Shinya gave little warning and pounded into Kaoru. A very loud gasp mixed with a scream found it’s way out of Kaoru’s mouth making the two other men in the equipment room hear. Toshiya who was still kneeling in front of everything was panting and was suffering more than ever. He needed it out and it needed out now!

Back and forth, slow then fast, soft and hard - Shinya did all he could to make Kaoru moan, groan, grunt, whimper, and forget to breathe. But Kaoru wasn’t the only one feeling pleasure running down his spine, Shinya was having the time of his life. He never new a man would feel so much better than a woman. The familiar, yet different in-so-many-good-ways warmth that Kaoru gave, gave Shinya a reason to cry out. He hit every right spot making a unison moan coming out of both men. Toshiya was now sweating bullets and couldn’t help but feel like dying. How cruel could Shinya get? If his erection got any harder, it would surely break through his pants.

Shinya was close to releasing and he sped up his motions. The faster he inserted himself, the more Toshiya edged closer. The closer Toshiya got, the more Kaoru felt like screaming at the top of his lungs. And finally, with an elongated thrust, Shinya emptied himself of hot liquid filling Kaoru with satisfaction. Shinya dropped to his knees beside Kaoru and Toshiya. He had never felt anything so amazing in his life and he didn’t want it to stop. He turned Kaoru around and stroked the perspiration off the side of his face. Shinya’s palm was relaxed on Kaoru’s cheek and he smiled; the smile he always gave them as a friend, not the deranged Shinya that amplified. He leaned forward and kissed Kaoru, an ever- so sweet kiss and turned to Toshiya. He reached down to undo his pants and took Kaoru by the hand leading him out of the room, bringing with him the abandoned blanket.

Toshiya was left alone on the floor with his erection hanging freely in the air. He started to pleasure himself remembering every detail he had seen in his eyes a few moments ago. He had never been so turned on in his life and now he has no one to share it with him. His wrapped fingers around his erection was on a fast pace and low moans were croaking out. He reached his head to play, and moved back down his base stroking at a more vigorous speed. At last, he came, and he signed thinking how much he wants Shinya. Fuck. Oh how he wants Shinya.

Sat, 12 May 2007 18:58:21 GMT

Title: Toshiya's Pleasure
Chapters: 5/?
Author: An_Infection
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: ToshiyaXEVERYONE
Summary: “Aww why~? I want to play.”
BETA: havenofthewolf
Comments: THANKS havenofthewolf for helping me. MY FIRST SEX SCENE. short and not very detailed .. but i tried =D

Trying to push Kyo off was useless. Kyo used his all mighty strength to keep Toshiya down and it worked. As hard as he struggled, Kyo wasn’t going to back off.

He had a wide smile across his face, possibly becoming wider the more Toshiya fought; by the way, with little effort put into it.

“Keep still Toshiya. I just want to pay you back for what you’ve done for me all these years.”

“I haven’t done anything for you except today. I kinda just want to sleep. Get off of me”

“Aww why~? I want to play.”

“Not tonight. Let me sleep!”

“No! I’m not letting you rest one minute until I’m done.” Kyo grinded his growing cock, “I’m so horny~” He gave Toshiya his little boys pout, the look that got Toshiya into this mess.

“You’re always horny during the wrong moments.”

Kyo leaned down to conceal his face in Toshiya’s neck giving little kisses in between words, “Give me what I want.”

The friction between both temporary lovers began to irritate their skin. With a blink of an eye, clothes were flung in all directions and every surface of the body was covered with the other man‘s skin. Their activeness threw Kaoru, Die, and Shinya out of their minds leaving only one thing on there.

Kyo went down on Toshiya, leaving a finger in his mouth useful in eliminating the high volume of moaning. Kyo’s mouth curled over Toshiya’s dick beginning a rhythm to swallow every inch of what was offered. It slid down to the back of his throat making him gag a little, but nonetheless he continued acknowledging the prize he‘d get in return.

He separated himself from Toshiya after a long agonizing last suck to Totchi’s erection, bringing cum as he came up, to ready himself for the calling heaven down below.

“If I knew how good you were, I’d’ve fucked you a long time ago.” Toshiya said.

“Suck me.” Kyo needed lube, just as Kaoru did, but none was available. Ha, but that didn’t stop Kyo from finding a way. Toshiya sucked long enough to have Kyo’s dick ready to slide inside with ease.

Kyo quickly scrambled down to fit himself between Toshiya’s thighs. Before the excessive amount of saliva dried, without any preparations, he slammed into Toshiya, quickly falling into rhythm. Toshiya’s moans and groans made Kyo go faster filling the whole room with nothing much than sounds of pleasure erupting from each man’s mouth.

“K-Kyo~! Why~ didn’t you tell me how good you were?”

Not a single word formed in Kyo’s mouth. He wondered himself; after all, it is his first time with a man.

They reached their breaking point and Kyo came into Toshiya making him hotter than he already was. A satisfied moan escaped both lips as Kyo collapsed next to Toshiya thanking God for making him gay.

…

Kaoru liked the feeling Die was sending. He always thought the skin of a woman was the only skin that was pure and soft to the touch. He dug his nose into Die’s hair to smell the raspberry shampoo he used earlier that day. It was the right thing to do, but he admitted what happened previously was something wrong and indecent. He wanted to apologize to Die, but didn’t want to confess that he was attracted to men except to himself.

“Hey Die.”

“Yeah?”

“Can we keep that bathroom incident quiet?”

“Definitely! You were very excited. Kinda made you look pathetic.” Die said laughing at the flashback. “Don’t want that leaking out.”

Trying to regain his manly hood, Kaoru added, “You enjoyed being wanted so keep quiet.”

“Yeah, I kinda did. Always thought you were .. Never so big.”

“… The hell? My family jewels are nothing but pleasure giving bastards.”

“I’d like to see how your jewels fit into my small tight box.”

“How can a box be tight?”

Die snorted, “You have so much to learn.”

Shuffling of papers and utensils were coming from Shinya in search of tools to escape Kaoru and Die’s realization of feelings towards each other. He got on hands and knees , draining out the continued talk of what his band mates would do to one another. For your information, Kaoru hadn’t realize he was talking so freely about it. Shinya rummaged under the desk, chairs, and shelves; nothing useful. He went to the door once more to make sure they were absolutely stuck. And they were.

He sat down across from Die and Kaoru keeping a good amount of distance between them.

“What are you doing over there? Come sit with us.” Die offered.

“No thanks, I’m fine here.”

“You’re shaking Shinny, just come over.”

“It’s okay. I feel fine.”

“Jeez idiot.” Die got up, annoyed with Shinya’s awkwardness. Why is he acting so strange all of a sudden when he knew 3 out of 5 of us were gay. Is it because of Kaoru’s new found sexuality?

Die seized Shinya’s shoulder, showing no sympathy, and heaved him in between himself and Kaoru.

Die purposely snuggled closer to make Shinya more uncomfortable than he already was. “You’re getting warmer already.”

It was getting quiet and shockingly Shinya spoke up, “Kaoru, are you gay now?”

“What?”

“You were about to have sex with Die.”

“Oh, I … guess …”

“Okay,” Shinya looked at the cherry colored Kaoru, “I don’t have a problem with it.”

Die leaned in to give them both a hug knowing it was hard to accept a band full of homos, and to admit he was one.

Shinya retracted from a sudden kiss given by Die and hit his head on the shelf beside them. Rubbing his head, he heard something rolling off. Too late for any reactions, a screwdriver landed on Shinya’s head. Even with his head throbbing he got up immediately and started to unscrew the doorknob in a stance ready to run the marathon.

Shinya struggled to unscrew the knob with every step Die took. One screw down, one screw left! Die’s getting closer … Die’s last step was right behind Shinya, who darted out in time to evade whatever Die’s dirty mind was thinking.

Gotta hurry. Gotta hurry.

It seemed that everywhere that Shinya went, their was something telling him there was nothing on the planet but men., because right when he stepped a foot into the equipment room, he found Kyo and Toshiya breathless on the floor, smiles engrossed on one another; not a single scrap of clothing on them , the blanket was thrown askew, and clothes were lain out randomly across the room. He had enough and wanted to get out of the place. He turned on his heel and was halfway down the hall when he realized the temperature was going down considerably.

Shinya came back to see Die and Kaoru peering at the other two with little grins plastered onto their faces. He stepped inside to snatch up a blanket only to find Kyo bent over to get clothing, still naked, and Toshiya with his hands on Kyo’s ass, slightly squeezing.

Die and Kaoru stared fixated at how amazing the image before them was. They were hornier than jack rabbits on speed.

Shinya stepped outside ready to scream out his lungs.

He couldn’t get every negative image out. He was going insane thinking about Kyo’s butt, Toshiya’s mouth, Kaoru’s jewels, Die’s … hair. He denied being attracted to men, but how frustrating was it to see his closest friends open up like this? Does someone out there really want him to be with men?